Dear So and So

[malkin]

Dear Person who made my Boots,

I know you are out there, because these boots were clearly made by a person who knew how to make boots for human feet like the ones I have at the bottom of my legs.

Thank you. You did good work.

That the boots you made ended up Nordstrom Rack must not be taken as any kind of insult, rather it is the miracle that led them to my feet where they have nourished my body and soul which were both pretty much in need right now.

*insert the blessing of your choice here*

[bmccasland]

Dear former document writer,
When you cut and paste information from another document, with the intent to go back and edit it later to the pertinent information for the particular project at hand, could you at least mark the erroneous information with a different font or color? It makes finding the sections that need editing easier - even for yourself. Kind of embarrassing to send a completed document over to the client with photos of adjacent property that are actually miles away, or references to a creek that isn't there. Let alone makes it extremely difficult for someone else to pick up your lousy work and fix it. I want to choke you right about now. Good thing you're teleworking.

[Selkie]

Dear Coworker -- Stay home when you're sick. And if you insist on coming in to work sick, it would be nice if you didn't chose that particular day to hang around my work area, talking to yourself, constantly clearing the thick phlegm from your throat, and sneezing. I'm seeking Divine Intervention in co-existing gracefully with your Type A, OCD personality (and I thought your gum cracking/snapping/bubble blowing and negative comments were bad.....). When you're sick and spreading germs, it's a greater challenge.

[jessmarimba]

beth - it sounds like you might do something similar to what I do for a living. Only at this point, my reports are getting reviewed about 5 times before they go out the door (3 weeks late) because several of our reviewers aren't qualified to review.

[Eden]

Dear jack@ss,

We're still trying to figure out what the heck you were doing to hit my parked car the way you did, but the least you could have done is stopped and manned up to it - I was looking directly at you from my living room window as you wrenched your green SUV off of the edge of my front bumper, pulling it 1/2 way off in the process.... BTW, I did call the cops and if they spot a green SUV with damage and red paint on its front passenger side they will tow it....

What really sucks is that the damage you did is probably worth more than the car, so claiming it is useless. Unless I want the insurance company to total my car, I have to live with it (hubby is seeing right now if he can get the fender back on, horn may or may not work... the connector was ripped free, cracked [I have a saturn- its plastic] front fender will just have to stay that way - maybe I'll print a big bandaid on vinyl sticker for it....)

[emily_in_nc]

Aww, that sucks, Eden! Any reason you didn't run screaming out of your house at the jerk since you saw him do it, or were you too far away? Too bad you couldn't get his license tag #, but hopefully the cops will find the low-life scum.

[Eden]

He didn't stick around very long - by the time I made it out the front door (in my socks...) he was already at the end of the street... I only saw his plate for a second so I only got a few of the numbers. I think I did stand in the middle of the street and say bad words at him - but not terribly loudly as he was already too far away to hear me...

My husband got the bumper banged out and put back on good enough that it doesn't show too much (besides the missing paint at least) stays on and doesn't hit anything - though he says there are some parts that were destroyed underneath. The hanging wires were the horn, but it was OK once he reconnected it.

This actually is par for the course around here.... I don't have a driveway, so I have to park on the street. We've lost 4 mirrors over the life of the car and no one ever owned up to any one of those. When we had a truck we actually did catch someone who hit it - probably only because he had a little sports car. He hit our parked F250 hard enough to wedge that little car right underneath and he couldn't get free.... The guy was high as a kite, but he was insured and they did pay to have the big old truck fixed - they kind of had to, he stoved in the grill and crumpled the front fender enough that you couldn't open the drivers side door.