I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been here. Very recently and almost didn't do my ride today because of my doubts and such. Definitely see your therapist.

The only thing that helps me is kicking my own ***. I feel so much better when I do it.

I hope that things look up and just remember that you are a great person with a lot to offer the world. Don't let it get you down. There is something good on the way!