Dear So and So

[Owlie]

Our kitchen got outsourced to Chipotle tonight. Closer and not as sketchy as the nearest Taco Bell. Thanks for that laugh.

[inkspot]

Dear school:

Can I have a week off, please? After three straight years without a vacation, I really want to sleep...

Sincerely,

One tired student

[pinkychique]

Dear Stupid,

I'm really glad you're riding your bike to the gym, but if you're going to ride it, and lock it up, at least know the RIGHT way to lock it up. As in go through YOUR frame, not your quick release back wheel and then through MY frame thus locking my bike up and not yours.

Hope you learned something from the note I left you.

Sincerely,

Me

[bmccasland]

Dear Herald,
Would you please hold down your breakfast? Coming "home" to the hotel, to find you've tossed breakfast, again, is not exactly pleasant. You hold down dinner and it's the same thing. I don't understand. Am I going to need to add a Vet bill to my VISA card?

[jessmarimba]

Oh wow pinky, that had to be a pain!

And bmccasland - I wonder if it's just stress? You just moved, right? My cats will do that sometimes if I've been gone - eat and then puke it all right up within half an hour or so. It's pretty disgusting, but if dinner is staying down Herald is probably ok.

[marni]

Dear Stupid,

I'm really glad you're riding your bike to the gym, but if you're going to ride it, and lock it up, at least know the RIGHT way to lock it up. As in go through YOUR frame, not your quick release back wheel and then through MY frame thus locking my bike up and not yours.

Hope you learned something from the note I left you.

Sincerely,

Me

inquiring minds want to know how you got free if the chain was through his wheel- even taking it off of the bike wouldn't quite work although I would have done that just to say thank you.

[pinkychique]

inquiring minds want to know how you got free if the chain was through his wheel- even taking it off of the bike wouldn't quite work although I would have done that just to say thank you.

I considered taking the frame, picking up another ill-locked back wheel and riding home, but thought that would be viewed as stealing Totally considered it though. I made SO ride home and come back with the car since I wasn't interested in walking 3 miles in the dark. Then drove back to pick up my baby after dinner. Dumbass tore up my note and stuck it in random places...guess she didn't like the correction

While I waited I found a mtb with nothing but a U-lock locked to his front wheel and sitting on the ground...coulda found an extra front wheel quite easily too

Wanna bet 90% of stolen bikes were people who didn't know how to lock it up right?

[Blueberry]

Dear Pedestrian:

When I quickly flicked my lights to let you know that I was stopping for you, and stopped several car lengths from where you were crossing, coming at my car in a threatening manner, shaking your fist *with a baby carrier on your arm* was really not smart. And not appreciated. I don't know how you could have thought I was being anything but courteous. I hope the female you were with gives you a stern talking to. Safe travels, d!ck head.

[malkin]

Dear Person who made my Boots,

I know you are out there, because these boots were clearly made by a person who knew how to make boots for human feet like the ones I have at the bottom of my legs.

Thank you. You did good work.

That the boots you made ended up Nordstrom Rack must not be taken as any kind of insult, rather it is the miracle that led them to my feet where they have nourished my body and soul which were both pretty much in need right now.

*insert the blessing of your choice here*

[bmccasland]

Dear former document writer,
When you cut and paste information from another document, with the intent to go back and edit it later to the pertinent information for the particular project at hand, could you at least mark the erroneous information with a different font or color? It makes finding the sections that need editing easier - even for yourself. Kind of embarrassing to send a completed document over to the client with photos of adjacent property that are actually miles away, or references to a creek that isn't there. Let alone makes it extremely difficult for someone else to pick up your lousy work and fix it. I want to choke you right about now. Good thing you're teleworking.

[Selkie]

Dear Coworker -- Stay home when you're sick. And if you insist on coming in to work sick, it would be nice if you didn't chose that particular day to hang around my work area, talking to yourself, constantly clearing the thick phlegm from your throat, and sneezing. I'm seeking Divine Intervention in co-existing gracefully with your Type A, OCD personality (and I thought your gum cracking/snapping/bubble blowing and negative comments were bad.....). When you're sick and spreading germs, it's a greater challenge.

[jessmarimba]

beth - it sounds like you might do something similar to what I do for a living. Only at this point, my reports are getting reviewed about 5 times before they go out the door (3 weeks late) because several of our reviewers aren't qualified to review.

[Eden]

Dear jack@ss,

We're still trying to figure out what the heck you were doing to hit my parked car the way you did, but the least you could have done is stopped and manned up to it - I was looking directly at you from my living room window as you wrenched your green SUV off of the edge of my front bumper, pulling it 1/2 way off in the process.... BTW, I did call the cops and if they spot a green SUV with damage and red paint on its front passenger side they will tow it....

What really sucks is that the damage you did is probably worth more than the car, so claiming it is useless. Unless I want the insurance company to total my car, I have to live with it (hubby is seeing right now if he can get the fender back on, horn may or may not work... the connector was ripped free, cracked [I have a saturn- its plastic] front fender will just have to stay that way - maybe I'll print a big bandaid on vinyl sticker for it....)

[emily_in_nc]

Aww, that sucks, Eden! Any reason you didn't run screaming out of your house at the jerk since you saw him do it, or were you too far away? Too bad you couldn't get his license tag #, but hopefully the cops will find the low-life scum.

[Eden]

He didn't stick around very long - by the time I made it out the front door (in my socks...) he was already at the end of the street... I only saw his plate for a second so I only got a few of the numbers. I think I did stand in the middle of the street and say bad words at him - but not terribly loudly as he was already too far away to hear me...

My husband got the bumper banged out and put back on good enough that it doesn't show too much (besides the missing paint at least) stays on and doesn't hit anything - though he says there are some parts that were destroyed underneath. The hanging wires were the horn, but it was OK once he reconnected it.

This actually is par for the course around here.... I don't have a driveway, so I have to park on the street. We've lost 4 mirrors over the life of the car and no one ever owned up to any one of those. When we had a truck we actually did catch someone who hit it - probably only because he had a little sports car. He hit our parked F250 hard enough to wedge that little car right underneath and he couldn't get free.... The guy was high as a kite, but he was insured and they did pay to have the big old truck fixed - they kind of had to, he stoved in the grill and crumpled the front fender enough that you couldn't open the drivers side door.