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Thread: Why

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  1. #1
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    May 2010
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    My county would pick up all of the kids in the same neighborhood on the same bus (5-18 year olds) and the kindergarten kids always fell asleep on the way home (we were about 30 minutes from the schools, but they got picked up first and had to sit through the middle and high school pickups as well as the trip home). They always took forever to get off b/c usually mom had to physically get on the bus and carry them off in the afternoon!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    1,333
    kids really do dawdle!! I don't have any experience with school buses, but at the pool I swim our practise ends about 5 minutes after the kids' lessons. You see these kids (about 4-6years) just stand under the shower not doing anything while the mothers are at the side away from the spray pointing and shouting at them to do this and that. They still just stand there.

    Sounds cute, but super annoying when you're standing there cold and chlorinated waiting for a kid to finally move on.

  3. #3
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    Feb 2005
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    Yes, and then there's the parents who have to have a long conversation with the driver and/or their kids as the kids are getting on the bus, and even after they are on the bus. Some might see it as a quaint reminder of living in a small town, but it seems like it's more an example of being totally self-absorbed, where these people have no idea they are holding up others who are trying to get somewhere.
    I guess I was a bad parent . If I (or DH) was home when the bus came, we watched from the window as the kids waited in the driveway. When we moved and they were older (like grades 5 and 7), the other mothers sat with the kids in their cars, at the intersection of our very safe cul-de-sac street and another street, waiting for the bus. This was a source of constant amusement to my children, as they stood in the rain and snow, waiting for the bus. I don't think I ever talked to a bus driver.
    They seem to have survived.
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Madison WI
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    Children (and many adults out there I should add) have a different viewpoint of the world. They don't consider the other people functioning around them and it doesn't matter to them if they impede others.

    Children also don't understand that we adults are impatient and want to get to wherever it is we're going (even if we aren't in a rush). It's a difference of perception.

    I'm constantly trying to teach my kids to think of the other people inhabiting our world with us. "Stay on this side of the path when someone's coming" (I must have called that out 4 times yesterday alone). I work hard to teach my kids to be thinking of others and to anticipate how you are affecting them.

    But when it comes to getting off the bus - you bet they aren't thinking about ANYTHING except getting off that loud tiring bus and coming home to finally be able to get to do what THEY want to do today!

    I find it funny b/c there really are a lot of adults in the world who share this perspective that most children have. It doesn't matter to them how they are affecting others in the world.

    I am learning (as I bike) that perception is EVERYTHING! When I'm on a bike, my whole set of perceptions change. I try to take those to the road when I'm sharing the road with cyclers while I drive. THough I've also noticed a great deal of Jealousy when I see cyclers and I'm having to drive my minivan home from work....
    Alison - mama of 2 (8yo and 6yo)
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Arlington, VA
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    Crankin---This happens in the close-in suburbs of DC, which are decidedly not small town in any regard! ;-) I think you've hit the nail on the head w/your assessment of it being "self-absorbed," an attribute shared by parent and 'spawn' alike. The parents or nannies, of course, congregate where the buses stop, and are more a hinderance than help in moving the kids along. What kills me most is the fact that the parents/nannies drive vehicles to pick up the kids---these folks live within blocks of where school bus stop. So their big SUVs add to the congestion.
    My mom was a stay-at-home (this was the 1970s). Granted, she was sick but she was not incapacitated. Except when I was in kindergarten, she never, ever took us to or waited for us at the bus stop (this enabled my youngest brother's tendency to run for home, in tears, when the bus approached, during his first month of first grade). As a matter of fact, none of the neighborhood moms or dads felt it necessary to do bus stop duty.
    You'd think, with adults there to fetch the kids, that things would move along quicker. Seems to be the opposite...

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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    Maryland
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    You know, for a bunch of people who are quick to point out the rights of cyclists to be on the road even though we slow down traffic that might back up behind us in tight spots, and who work to change laws about when and how a car can legally and safely pass a cyclist, you all are sure vocal in your complaints about being slowed down by kids getting off the bus.

    People are people. Kids are slow. Parents like to find out how their kids are doing (or maybe there's a more legitimate purpose for the talking--maybe their kid has been bullied on the bus and they need to talk to the driver about that, or maybe the kid left their coat on the bus the day before and they want to know if it was found, or maybe they are letting the driver know that the kid has a doctor's appointment the next day so won't need to be picked up in the morning). Personally my kid is slow getting off the bus because he's autistic and not always with it and doesn't do well with transitions, so getting on and off the bus involves cajoling (on our part) and head banging (on his part).

    I'm VERY glad that there are all of these safety checks in place for kids getting on and off the bus (o.k., checking under the wheels with a flashlight seems like overkill)--one of my best friends in 4th grade was hit by a driver passing a school bus. He wasn't killed, but he was really messed up and missed months of fourth grade.

    So you're inconvenienced for a few minutes when you're stuck behind a bus. If you don't like it, find another route, or don't go out on the road at the time of day when you know the busses are running, or leave a few minutes earlier. And remind yourself that if the busses weren't running, there would be another 30 or 50 cars per missing bus out on the road transporting the kids to and from school. Does that sound preferable?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Madison WI
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    sfa, I do want to add that our neighborhood takes our time at the bus stop. Sometimes there is 1 or 2 cars waiting behind and I honestly don't give it a second thought. What we love about our neighborhood is that it is kid-friendly. The bus driver cares about our kids and will often say something to a parent at the stop. It is our only chance to communicate with him (imagine all the stops he has).

    Again I think it is all about perspective. I do believe in being thoughtful of others, but when it comes to the bus stop, I honestly don't give it a thought at all. All that matters to me at that moment is that my kids are home (safe) and that all the kids get off the bus and to their homes safely.

    You make a good point that we cyclists slow drivers down and that safety is #1
    Alison - mama of 2 (8yo and 6yo)
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  8. #8
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    Sep 2010
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    Madison WI
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    Oh! and I'm a BIG believer in meeting my kids at the bus and taking them to the bus. I love that the parents in our neighborhoods care about the kids' safety and also want to socialize and share our lives together. It's really something very special.
    Alison - mama of 2 (8yo and 6yo)
    2009 Independent Fabrication steel Crown Jewel SE
    1995 trek 800 steel MTV

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Arlington, VA
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    Quote Originally Posted by sfa View Post
    You know, for a bunch of people who are quick to point out the rights of cyclists to be on the road even though we slow down traffic that might back up behind us in tight spots, and who work to change laws about when and how a car can legally and safely pass a cyclist, you all are sure vocal in your complaints about being slowed down by kids getting off the bus.

    People are people. Kids are slow. Parents like to find out how their kids are doing (or maybe there's a more legitimate purpose for the talking--maybe their kid has been bullied on the bus and they need to talk to the driver about that, or maybe the kid left their coat on the bus the day before and they want to know if it was found, or maybe they are letting the driver know that the kid has a doctor's appointment the next day so won't need to be picked up in the morning). Personally my kid is slow getting off the bus because he's autistic and not always with it and doesn't do well with transitions, so getting on and off the bus involves cajoling (on our part) and head banging (on his part).

    I'm VERY glad that there are all of these safety checks in place for kids getting on and off the bus (o.k., checking under the wheels with a flashlight seems like overkill)--one of my best friends in 4th grade was hit by a driver passing a school bus. He wasn't killed, but he was really messed up and missed months of fourth grade.

    So you're inconvenienced for a few minutes when you're stuck behind a bus. If you don't like it, find another route, or don't go out on the road at the time of day when you know the busses are running, or leave a few minutes earlier. And remind yourself that if the busses weren't running, there would be another 30 or 50 cars per missing bus out on the road transporting the kids to and from school. Does that sound preferable?
    Ahem, I was on foot, walking my dog, when this happened. I wasn't "inconvenienced," but it was a safety issue. The combination of the bus, parents, cars, and kids freaked out my 85lb golden. The fact that they were p*ssing around made it worse (I had to get down on the curb and hold my dog to keep her from bolting. Not one of them showed an ounce of consideration.)

    I've noticed the same thing when driving, but it's minor compared to the multitude of other annoyances that are a part of commuting in a busy area (metro construction, HOT lane construction, etc). FWIW, there are a shortage of alternative routes for commuters in the DC area due to all of the construction projects. Anyone who has to transit or work in Tysons Corner can attest to this.

    I kid you not, I once waited FIVE minutes for kids to get off a bus (there weren't that many kids to warrant it, either). This was on a busy road, during early rush hour. Consideration works both ways. Enough said.
    Last edited by Selkie; 10-08-2010 at 12:35 AM.

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  10. #10
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    Feb 2005
    Location
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    Yes, I agree. It's generally not the kids who are annoying me. They are kids. It's the parents. Sorry, but the whole thing about waiting with your kid for the bus and being there to get him/her every single day is, in my mind another example of helicopter parenting. The prolonged goodbyes, hugs that make it look like the kid is going away for 2 months, etc. just drives me nuts.
    In my mind, parents just see this as a socializing time with other parents, and are not aware at all about what's going on around them, i.e., there are lots of people waiting behind the bus. Yes, I want to get to work or wherever I am going. If that's impatient, so be it.
    Am I the *only* person who didn't sit with my kids in the car while waiting for the bus? When they were older, if they needed to be at school early for work, or projects, I would drive them, even though it was totally in the opposite direction of where I went.
    One time DS #2 missed the bus in HS, because of his own laziness. We watched through the window, as he ran off somewhere (school was about 5 miles away). We never knew what happened, or where he went, but later found out that the bus actually made a stop at the other end of our neighborhood, about 3 minutes later, so he ran over there. Of course he was a teenager, but in our house, we had alarms set to warn them that the bus was coming in 5 minutes and that was when they had to put on their coats, get their stuff, and go stand in the driveway. This started when they were 10 and 8, when they told us that we did not have to be there when they left and they refused to go to the babysitter in the morning.
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  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    Quote Originally Posted by Selkie View Post
    Ahem, I was on foot, walking my dog, when this happened. I wasn't "inconvenienced," but it was a safety issue. The combination of the bus, parents, cars, and kids freaked out my 85lb golden. The fact that they were p*ssing around made it worse (I had to get down on the curb and hold my dog to keep her from bolting. Not one of them showed an ounce of consideration.)
    I fail to see why there was a problem for you (and the dog) here. It sounds like you were on foot, and probably could have done any number of thing to extricate yourself from what you and or the dog felt was an unpleasant situation. You could have turned around, crossed the street, stopped and waited 1/2 a block away, gone around the block...Goldens (having raised several) are typically calm and good natured if well trained. If your dog is a problem in crowds or chaotic situations, perhaps you need to plan your route differently if this is going to be a regualr occurance, or get some additional training for your dog. You could view it as a training opportunity: back off to the perimeter of the situation, put the dog in a sit-stay or a lie-stay, and patiently let him/her become more accustomed to the chaos than they are now.

    I plan my routes around when school gets out, regularly. Been there, done that, will go out of my way to avoid the traffic now.
    Last edited by Irulan; 10-08-2010 at 06:54 PM.
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  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Selkie View Post
    Ahem, I was on foot, walking my dog, when this happened. I wasn't "inconvenienced," but it was a safety issue. The combination of the bus, parents, cars, and kids freaked out my 85lb golden. The fact that they were p*ssing around made it worse (I had to get down on the curb and hold my dog to keep her from bolting. Not one of them showed an ounce of consideration.)
    .
    I totally understand why this would be annoying. However, if you think it's an outright safety issue with your dog to be walking him near people and cars and hubbub, then maybe you need to change your dog walking route or work on training him or whatever.

 

 

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