Welcome and don't apologize for being a man. My husband is a cyclist as well and is still way faster than I am so I understand how your wife feels. I had a hybrid put road tires on to start with and that worked well for awhile. I think I would try a cross bike if she.is okay abot being in drops. Maybe you should go to LBS and try some out to see what feels good. I think its nice that you care enough about her to get other womens opinions. She welcome too