Moving/living in different cities/countries in life

[SheFly]

I went to 6 different schools between grades 1-12. I would say it really affected my ability to make friends. By the time I got to highschool, I had pretty much just given up; it was so hard to keep making and losing friends.

That's nothing, Badger! From Kindergarden through the 8th grade, I was in 14 different schools. Stayed in the same high school all through, despite moving at least three or four times.

By the time I was 30, I had moved 30 times. Mostly southwestern Ontario (Mississauga, Cambridge, Waterloo, Kitchener), but also Calgary and Edmonton.

Fifteen years ago, I moved to the US. I have moved 3 times since being here, but have lived in our current house for 14 years - the longest I have EVER lived ANYWHERE, by triple! I have told my DH that the only way I am leaving this house is in a pine box .

I think moving so much certainly impacted who I am. I make friends easily (despite telling my parents in the 3rd grade that I was never making friends again), and am far from awkward in any social situations. Unfortunately,, my younger brother was impacted more negatively by all the moving...

And no - we weren't a military family!

SheFly

[marni]

In the US I have lived in New Mexico, California, Utah, Georgia, North Carolina, Massachusetts and Texas. Overseas I haved lived in the Netherlands, Belgium, France, England, Oman, the Netherlands again, Belgium again,and finally, the Netherlands again.

I am married to a mechanical engineer in the oil and petroleum industry. He has also lived in Saudi, Korea and Doha while I was in the Netherlands keeping the kids in school and centralized.

I imagine a military wife might move more often, but they often have the advantage of a support group of people in a similar situation instead of being thrown out onto the economy and social structure of a new environment every time.

It's been interesting all the way around.

[Irulan]

what is the length cut off? I spent some time in my errant early adulthood moving/working seasonally, and then with DH in the oil field...

Born Chicago, Ill
Grew up East Bay Area age 16 moved out...
then...
Season in Miami
Sierra Foothills
Golden/Evergreen Colorado
Casper Wyoming
Powell Wyoming
Back to the Bay Area
Eastern WA for 20 years now.

[tulip]

Before high school, I lived in seven cities in four states in the US; some repeats; some different houses/apartments in the same city. I stayed put in high school. Since then (25 years), I've lived in eight cities in two countries, some of those I moved back to several times, so it really is more like 11 or 12 moves in the last 25 years.

[shootingstar]

Hey SheFly, easy does it.

Remember, you did not have to learn English in Gr. 5, etc. Any child immigrating to North America from non-English speaking countries, has a serious challenge in learning a language that the dominant culture mandates/legislates on its citizens.

Badger, were you raised in Japan? I know that you are part Japanese. Or maybe it was somewhere in Europe?
Dearie clearly remembers when he had to learn English when he immigrated from Germany when he was 7.

SheFly, I grew up no English in Kitchener-Waterloo until kindergarten. It was an enormous shock on first day of school. It literally feels like being in a different world.

[MillieNZ]

I was born in England where I stayed until leaving school...... then I packed my backpack and traveled through Europe, North Africa, middle east, southern Asia. I then lived in Australia for a while (struggled with the amount of snakes ) before moving to New Zealand where i stayed for 14 years.

In March we moved to Honolulu, Hawaii. Whilst it's privileged to live here, I don't see us staying here forever.... the cost of living is horrendous ! the cycling is so-so, thankfully there's nice social group.

I suspect our next move in a couple of year time will be to west coast USA, anywhere between San Diego to Portland (DH is open ocean scientist)

I enjoy living in different places and seem to make friends reasonably easy......although if we have children then a little more stability would probably be better.

[badger]

yeah, it was a move from Japan. I handled that move much more in stride than my brother who's 4 years older and started out in ESL. It really set him back in terms of learning english, whereas I really had to speak it to survive, and kids are resilient so I actually did quite well. I had loads of friends by the time we left 5 years later. That move scarred me far more than that initial move.

I was talking with a highschool teacher and he was saying that home-grown ESL is quite rampant these days in that kids who are actually born in Canada manage to go through 12 years of school being ESL. Their English is so bad they barely pass English. They only speak Chinese at home, and at school only hang out with other Chinese kids speaking no English, and avoid making any eye contact with teachers who may ask them something in class. That's the only time they actually speak English.

[SheFly]

Hey SheFly, easy does it.

Remember, you did not have to learn English in Gr. 5, etc. Any child immigrating to North America from non-English speaking countries, has a serious challenge in learning a language that the dominant culture mandates/legislates on its citizens.

My apologies. I in no way meant to diminish Badger's experience of moving, changing schools, and having the experience of moving to an English-speaking country.

SheFly

[shootingstar]

Moving around is tough on kids, no matter how resilient some kids are.

Badger: that situation of home-grown ESL would be obviously be in only a few places in Canada where there are alot of Chinese-speaking folks.

I suppose it's one "advantage" of growing up in other areas in North America where there are less same language-speaking folks, but still ESL support within the school system. Also depends on the home environment: my father taught himself English. He had no time to take classes with job and big family. He really did make sure we ramped up our language skills. And a big part of that for myself: is reading books that a child chooses, not the parent. There are several miracle stories within my extended family of children struggling to learn new language and put back 2 grades. Then eventually the children do make it and completed university. It requires vigilant, supportive parents as well as some good teachers.

Marnie: You are resilient. Engineering projects....isn't like being in the foreign/diplomatic service, where there are many planned social events in local/host country to involve the temporary employees and their spouses/families and jumpstart the acculturation process.

One U.K. engineer used to tell about his Hong Kong Chinese-born wife who got into cycling their 2 children to daycare in Vancouver during his 2 yr. work stint with us. I think it was a way for her to get out and explore. By the way, she didn't make hardly any local friendships even though Vancouver area has a huge population with shared/similar backgrounds. She hated Vancouver because of our fall-winter rains.

[GLC1968]

I've had experiences similiar to a lot of the moving gals. In fact, while I was not a military brat, most of my friends were because we could relate to each other. 10 schools by 10th grade - two highschools, 3 colleges. I've never lived anywhere (ever) for more than 3 years except for having spent 7 in the Tampa area of FL. Just to make that bareable, in those 7 years I had two careers, two majors and 7 addresses...so it wasn't like I was settled!

But, to answer the original question, I've moved 14 times since graduating highschool (not counting relocating for college). Some of those moves were within the same general area and others were across the country. When I got my security clearance at one of my jobs, it was a serious challenge for me to recall all my addresses in the previous 10 years.

I'm good at moving. I enjoy it. It's an adventure to me. It's also all I've ever known. I cannot imagine growing up in one house or living in one place my whole life. Moving as a child was really hard. Moving as a HS student really, really, really sucked (english speaking or not - it SUCKS being the new kid as a fragile teenager and entering a school system where the kids have all been together since kindergarten!!) That was by far, the worst. As an adult, it's easier to adjust to a new place, but it's much harder to make new friends. I've gotten good at being very open and trusting. Yes, I get hurt...but whatever. Honestly, I think having been such a rolling stone as a child, it taught me to not bother holding onto emotional baggage. I just let it go and move on. Moving all the time has also kept my family close (not geographically, but emotionally).

I also have friends in just about every major city and metropolitan area across the country.

[sfa]

Since high school I've lived in Washington, DC, Winston-Salem, NC, and in three locations in the Baltimore area. I also spent one year abroad in western Europe, but I was peripatetic so didn't really "live" anywhere. The longest I stayed put was four weeks in Verona, otherwise it was just a day or so at each location.

Growing up, I lived in the same house my whole life, the same one my parents still live in. I longed to move anywhere--I loved going new places and getting to know new areas, so I would beg my parents to please, please, please move. I don't know if it would have been so much fun in reality, but I still think one of the most fun things to do is find a new city or town and wander around unfamiliar streets. I'm getting antsy in my current house--we intended it as a starter home and planned to live there for five years, but it's now been 12 years (housing bubble popped up just after we bought) and I spend a lot of time looking at real estate listings, just dreaming of going someplace new.

Sarah

[Jolt]

I haven't done a lot of moving since finishing high school...attended college in the same state but different city, and have stayed in that same city since college (my family did move to NJ my freshman year, but I only spent summers and breaks there so I'm not really counting that). It looks like I will have to move soon though, once I find a job in whichever state that may be; current possibilities in the pipeline are in upstate NY, PA, WI and MN...there are very few possibilities here in MA for a new grad acute care NP (and the ones I do see are in completely different parts of the state anyway, so would still require a move). Actually, not a whole lot in New England in general (bummer...I wouldn't mind being in NH or VT at all!). Looking forward to starting to practice but nervous about having to start over in an entirely new place. As far as before high school, I did have to move a few times as a kid: born in SF bay area, lived in VA for a few years, then moved to MA and lived in two different towns (right next to each other, but still required changing schools in 6th grade which was not fun) before college. Hopefully when I have kids someday I won't have to put them through moving and changing schools...in my experience, that sucked; I got picked on a lot and I think coming in as a new kid was part of the reason. Guess I'd better stay away from military guys or others who have to move around for work; heck, even without kids in the picture I still don't want to be forced to move around! I'd much rather find a place I like and stick around; I can still travel and see other places on vacation etc. but then come back to something familiar.

[TsPoet]

Santa Fe New Mexico, Boulder Colorado, Tucson Arizona, Chapel Hill North Carolina, and Richland Washington.
Took me 5 years to start liking it here. Now I love it. I didn't love it anywhere else, but 5 years was as long as I lived in any of those places. I loved Santa Fe, but I grew up there.
North Carolina was the worst. The personalities of the communities in NM, Co, and AZ were all so similar there wasn't a culture shock moving between them. The scenery in all of the Western states is similar, I hated all those claustrophobic trees in NC.
The culture shock and lack of space in NC was mind boggling. I had to get back west.

[shootingstar]

I'm getting antsy in my current house--we intended it as a starter home and planned to live there for five years, but it's now been 12 years (housing bubble popped up just after we bought) and I spend a lot of time looking at real estate listings, just dreaming of going someplace new.

Sarah

Well, change for the sake of change is not terrible if there are other compelling, long-term reasons also. Just be grateful if you have liked your neighbourhood for a long time.

A person's mental health and safety, can be affected by where they choose to live.