Body Image and other Random Thoughts

[Lise]

Besides standing up straight makes your tummy look smaller. I'm speaking from experience here.

V.

Ahhh! Thanks for the tip!

And thanks for the encouragement, all. I'll reflect it right back at you. What I love about that picture of me is the look on my face. That was about mile 16 of the marathon, and I was flanked by two dear friends who came out to cheer for me. I was happy and proud, and hadn't yet hit "the wall"!

I was thinking today about the questions concerning endurance sports and genetics. Probably something there, although no one else in my family is a runner. My mom and aunt both became cyclists in their 50s/60s. My brother's always been sort of a jock--baseball, hiking, mtb on vacations. My sister...no. Walks, does Pilates. My dad was an athlete, coached high school baseball, died when he was 35 of a brain tumor.

For me, endurance sports "fit" because I know that I have the capacity to endure difficult things. Hard childhood, abusive ex-partner. Even my job is something of an endurance sport--I'm in the middle of a 24 hr shift right now, and delivered 3 babies in 3 hours. So I have the body-knowledge that I can keep at it. I am not fast, but I can keep going. As the marathon wore on, and I wanted to quit, I'd say to myself, "It's a marathon. You might as well keep running."

I know my body image comes from childhood and teen years--I was fat, smart, unpopular, etc. I diligently studied Seventeen and Glamour magazines. I rode my bike, loved to ride my bike, but didn't really know people did that for fun, long distances, or trails.

Ah, well, here we are, and I bet we'd all have a great time riding hard, cooking and eating together. I envy those of you on the coasts who get together! I'll bet there's a lot of laughter.

Best to all,

Lise

[btchance]

I understand what you guys are going through, as I face many of the same problems myself, even though I've never been overweight. (I'm 5'2 and 125lb and usually a size 5) Growing up, I always heard from family about how tiny my mom was, and how I was so much bigger than she was at my age, and I would look at how my mom looks now, and see that she is overweight, just like the rest of my family, and it always worried me that I would end up overweight also, or worse, since I was already bigger.

I've done ballet for most of my life, and still take the occasional class. Once again, I always felt big next to the tiny dancers (many of whom I know have eating disorders), and we were always encouraged to watch our diet and size, when in actuality I was already pretty small, and looking back at some of the videos, I didn't look the least bit out of place. I also competed at horse shows, and in the equitation classes, many of the girls made the dancers look big, and to top it off, anytime one of the other mom's would make a comment to my mom about how tiny they thought I was (I was a few inches shorter than almost everyone), my mom would always go into the "well, how much do you think she weighs?" "about 100, 105lbs," "oh no, she's 115lb" That never helped any, for sure. (I promise I'm not trying to blame my mom here)

But I can still wear many of the same, form fitting clothes I wore 10-15yrs ago. I mean, I still wear the leotard I wore back in the 5th grade, and the same breeches I wore in the 7th, so I know I have nothing to worry about with my size, even though the weight number is increasing.

However, the main thing that has helped me was when I was going through the nutrition class at med school, and I kept seeing all of these numbers saying that I needed to be 112lb to be at my ideal weight for optimal health. I mentioned to my preceptor (a doctor we work with in groups of 4) that according to the charts, I needed to be 10lbs less, and I was wondering how accurate they actually were. He looked at me like I was insane for even thinking that I might need to lose weight, and said that this was an example of why we are doctors who actually who see patients, and look at each perosn individually, and not just getting info off of the chart without ever seeing them, because each person is different and does not go eactly by the book, and that anyone who would think I needed to lose any weight was insane.

I still have issues with my weight, but I have to keep reminding myself that that number comes from my muscle, and that I have nothing to worry about. Sorry this was so long, but I wanted to share.

[bikerHen]

OK, so now a REAL heavy weight with body image issues will wade in! You all think YOU look bad in lycra, try being 5'6"ish and weighing over 200 lbs It's not a pretty sight, especially when you throw in the lack of plus size jerseys, but I do it because riding a bike is going to save me. I have this mental image of myself as an old fat lady pushing a walker and carrying an oxygen bottle. While I can't do anything about the old, I'm turning 50 on Friday, I am doing something about the weight!!!!!

It's an uphill battle and I have to fight for every step I gain. I get depressed because I'm always the fattest person at bike meetings, spin class, and rides. When I tell people I ride a bike, I get the "sure you do" look. I am instantly put into the slow rider/can't keep up catagory. I went on a new group ride last fall that was about 15 miles. The group leader took me aside to ask if I had ridden that far before and was it going to be to much. When I kept up with the leaders through most of the ride she was nice enough to tell me that I was a pretty strong rider. That's why I'm working so hard this winter. I want to start with group riding this spring and definitely want to show the high and mighty, lean and mean riders that THIS Fat Bottom Girl can kick some a$$.

So I press on, because I have no other choice. And what's really depressing is that the process is so sloooow! My husband keeps tells me to be patient, but now that I have comitted to the whole process I want to see results NOW! I no longer get on the scale, the whole muscle weighing more than fat thing, so I look for changes in the way my clothes fit. After all isn't that what it's all about. BikerHen

[Veronica]

It's so easy to judge other people by how they look. You keep fooling them BikerHen and slow weight loss really is better. If you keep biking and eating well, the weight will come off. And even if it doesn't get where you hope, you'll be SO much healthier.

V.

[nuthatch]

Well said, BikerHen!!!

[CorsairMac]

each day I come here I read yet another motivational, positive reinforcement post! You go kick their lean lil hinneys Banty Hen! I'll ride with you Any day over them "others"!

[bikerHen]

Yeah, I know slow is better, but still, slow can be SO slow sometimes. It never seems to take as long to gain the weight. I know it WILL happen, and I'm also realistic enough to know I will never be thin, but dropping 80 pounds will certainly put me in a much happier place. And I'm sure the hills will be a whole lot easier! My current goal is to be able to wear, in public, the XXL club cut jersey for the LRRH Ride in June. BikerHen

[Trekhawk]

Yeah, I know slow is better, but still, slow can be SO slow sometimes. It never seems to take as long to gain the weight. I know it WILL happen, and I'm also realistic enough to know I will never be thin, but dropping 80 pounds will certainly put me in a much happier place. And I'm sure the hills will be a whole lot easier! My current goal is to be able to wear, in public, the XXL club cut jersey for the LRRH Ride in June. BikerHen

I continue to be inspired in riding and life by you wonderful ladies. Wow and havent any of those ride clubs learnt yet that sometimes big legs etc means a big powerhouse. I never judge any athlete by how they look it can be so deceptive. Looking forward to seeing you at LRRH and maybe riding some or all of the hundred with you.

[Dirt Girl]

I'm turning 50 on Friday...she was nice enough to tell me that I was a pretty strong rider.

Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY bikerHen! If I didn't have plans, I'd try to brave the cold and go on a birthday ride with you. And I've ridden with you--I KNOW that you ARE a strong rider. Like I told you at the meeting the other night, I admire your endurance. I know I didn't last two hours on my first mtb ride like you and the chick did last fall.

Just keep on riding and remember to focus on having fun!