Body Image and other Random Thoughts

[Grog]

Lise!!! I looked at the picture and said to myself (or out loud, I'm afraid...): What a great poster girl for fitness! You look wonderful, smiling, strong. That's fantastic!!!!!!!

[profàvélo]

Dove (as in the soap) has made a step in the right direction, proclaiming, "Real women have real curves." Check out the campaignforrealbeauty.com.

[abuelitodimetu]

Maybe if the dove women were selling underwear, I would buy their BS laden campaign about loving your curves. However, dove wants us to love our bodies, but not too much, since we must be sufficiently disatisfied to want to improve it with their miracle cream. And if the creams do not work (which is most likely the case), well, you are still left with the self hatred of having a soft body.

[SnappyPix]

Maybe if the dove women were selling underwear, I would buy their BS laden campaign about loving your curves. However, dove wants us to love our bodies, but not too much, since we must be sufficiently disatisfied to want to improve it with their miracle cream. And if the creams do not work (which is most likely the case), well, you are still left with the self hatred of having a soft body.

Whilst I realise that Dove's intentions aren't purely altruistic, it's certainly a step in the right direction to have real women used in advertising (how novel!) and it's a damn shame more companies don't follow suit.

Why is it that when guys put on weight, they might just feel sheepish or sluggish, but women feel a failure? It says so much about western culture.
I don't mean to sound like a complete man-basher, but the thing that really does get me angry is that the fashion and media industry (especially TV & film) is dictated by men who construct their own unrealistic expectations of how women should feel about themselves. And the real rub? A large percentage of these guys are gay and aren't even attracted to the images they depict.

I've battled with body image issues all my life - and only recently am I starting to love my body. Cycling has been my saviour because it helps me stay healthy and grounded - I've begun to love my thighs and now marvel at the muscles that are developing as I grow stronger and fitter.
My mum is 77 and is constantly dieting because of catty remarks from her b*tchy sisters; it really upsets me because she doesn't have an ounce of fat on her and was hospitalised on a life support machine around 4 years ago on the brink of death - yet still the drive to be the perfect shape seems to outweigh the pure joy of being alive and well.

[latelatebloomer]

I've been loving this thread - finally had to steal a few minutes to post. Oy, growing up chubby (not obese, just chubby) and having to deal with every GROWN woman's body issues applied to me was...crappy. My mom lived on black coffee, cigarettes, and No-Doze to keep her weight down, and boy, that regimen does not sweeten one's temper . I started being put on diets by 3rd grade, and we know what diets do - THEY CREATE FAT PEOPLE!!
OK, I'm all over that now, at at 46, work out hard damn hard, take great care of myself, and am really beoming a cyclist. I stay off scales, but I've gone from a size 24 to an 18, and last night at spin class, I had control of my breathing (and a wee, proud smile on my face) as my heart rate hit & hung at 181.
People still make ignorant comments sometimes, as some of the other curvy posters here have noted. Then I have to check in on my own truth, go to DH for a hug and kiss, and hang out at TE til the boo-boo goes away.
One downer - ok, great, at the store trying on them size 18 pants and feeling like Xena...tried on a pair of light-colored jeans and they look...awful. Hey, I know I've got a little celluite but it doesn't usually look like that...jeans come off, and in the harsh, harsh light of the dressing room...BAGGY SKINeek:
My legs are getting smaller, but my skin isn't.
Ok, I know, stiff upper lip, choose clothes just as carefully as ever, etc, and DO NOT RUN OUT AND BUY EVERY MIRACLE CREAM ON THE MARKET - this I know - but does anyone out there had luck with anything that helps?

[bentforlife]

although I sit here with a cratered knee and hope I can keep the weight off until I can start riding again.

My story. I grew up tall and skinny,I was 5'6" by the time I was 12 and towered over most everyone in my class at that time. I don't know how many times my mother told me not to slouch. I was also heavy into competitive swimming, freestyle and butterfly, so I had shoulders that made me look like a defensive tackle on the football team. I wasn't into "girly" stuff, no makeup, very few dresses, rode horses alot, a real "tomboy". My senior year I tore a rotator cuff and had to stop swimming. On to college and I didn't become a couch potato but not in as good physical condition. I was slow pitching for an intramural softball team and running to stay in shape for that. I also grew another inch in height for some weird strange reason.

Once I started having children after getting married I started gaining weight and really couldn't get it off. The last baby was a real kicker, gestational diabetes and early labor problems. After she was born I found myself at 250 lbs. 6 years later I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and hypothyroidic. I was very determined to lose weight and managed to lose 70 lbs in one year. It has helped but now I'm a insulin dependent diabetic using an insulin pump(which is fantastic). I still would like to get about 30-40 lbs off and riding was helping and will again.

Self image problems were few and far between for me. I tend to be a realist and knew I was obese(not a pretty word, is it). But I'm also am in the process of becoming a diabetic educator and want to be an example to those I will be helping. I still wear very little makeup. Most people guess my age 10 years younger than I am, and I just turned 49. I have to thank my families good Swiss genes for that and wearing sunscreen religiously.

So what's the point? Not all of fell for the skinny model image our soceity said we had to look like. Even when I was "fat" I was happy with myself as a person, happy with my marriage and happy with my kids(maybe not as much when they were younger teens).

In my eyes I would rather see someone who may be somewhat "overweight" but content about life than someone who is skinny as a rail and miserable trying to live up to unreal expectations. I think this is something we need desperately to teach out teen girls coming up. My daughters are very different from each other. The older is naturally"thin" but not very athletic. She wears size 2, sometimes a size zero. But I don't think she's as healthy as the younger daughter because of her sleeping habits, no exercise, and stress. My youngest daughter is taller with an athlete's body, very solid muscle. She rides her bike alot, walks and runs more, and is happier with herself even though her grades are not as high as the oldest daughter's ere in high school. Attitude makes a real difference. i grew up with an overly critical dad. I was never good enough for him. Once I was on my own and away from his influence I began to realize I WAS a person of worth. Life really changed for me once I changed my outlook.

This is what our kids need today. To know they are a person of worth.

Sorry, I'll step off the soap box now.

Donna

[ACG]

I love this post. All ladies look in the mirror and smile while saying-You are a beautiful person!

I have 2 daughters; 22 years old-the other 15. The youngest is still growing, but she will be the curvy one. I am 5'2", 140 lbs, medium frame, size 8 to 12 depending on the store, style, etc. Some people have told me I'm chunky, some people say I'm too thin. I am muscular because of the cycling. When I was younger I was really thin, like 100 lbs, I thought I was fat. I now know I was not healthy.

It is really, really hard taking young girls shopping for clothes that don't make them look trashy or feel fat.

I was told once by someone that I could improve in cycling if I lost weight, then in the same breadth I was told that I could never get that thin cuz I was 'built like a big girl', then I was told how attractive one of the other cycling ladies in my group is, she does triathalons 'now she is a real knock out'. My interpretation, you are ugly and fat.

I try to tell my girls that what they see on TV, movies is not how realy women are, I tell them look at me, your friends, your aunts, etc. They are a variety of shapes and sizes, this is the norm.

Again I love this post.

[maillotpois]

Great post - I have read and re-read it a couple of times now. There are so many great stories here, but a common thread: You are all strong, kick-a$$ women!!

My body image issues really started with my perception of myself as being unathletic. I grew up chunky and uncoordinated - not good at ball sports, etc.. They put me in remedial PE in elementary school. This really did a number on my self-image! (These days we don't even have funding for regular PE!) Anyway, even though I grew up on a ranch and was running and riding horses outdoors all day, I believed myself to be unathletic and fat. So that's basically what I became. Finally, in college, I joined Weight Watchers and lost 60 pounds over a year. I started running, which helped, but I never really enjoyed running. I actually got a bit too thin for my Amazonian frame, as my periods stopped for a year, but I levelled out and maintained a healthy weight and active lifestyle til I got pregnant 8 or so years later.

After the kiddo was born, it has been an up and down 10 years to get back to a healthy weight. I also developer an auto-immune thyroid disorder which adds an extra complication to the weight loss picture. Discovering cycling 6 years ago has really helped, as I never enjoyed running and riding a bike came so naturally. (Now I realize what my big thighs were made for!).

I seriously NEVER thought of myself as an athlete or athletic until I started cycling. Now I have done countless centuries, 3 double centuries, the Death Ride (twice), have raced in crits and road races and have cycled in the Alps! And cycling has made weight loss a bit easier in that I am not looking to get to certain # to weigh, but looking to IMPROVE my cycling PERFORMANCE - specifically climbing - by dropping some pounds. (I'm 5'9" and have probably another 15 pounds I should be rid of by the end of summer. I am losing slowly - and that's fine. It is really all performance motivated. The reduction in pants size, etc. is just a bonus!)

So that's my story.

Great thread. You all ROCK.

[bentforlife]

Sounds like we have a lot in common, kidwise. My oldest daughter is 23 years od and in college, still living at home. The youngest daughter turns 16 in 6 weeks(everyone make sure your insurance is up-to-date)

How well do your girls get along? There are times when they act like they could rip each other apart, and then 2 hours later they are fine with each other. It's enough to drive me crazy at times. I have 3 sisters, one is my identical twin. We would get into fights at times but not like my two can, or maybe my memory is fading a bit. I know I spent a lot of time outside and doing other things so I wouldn't get into trouble for fighting with my sisters. It was better that way, my mother says I had a hair trigger temper. That changed a lot when I had my own children.

Donna