Struggles

[ladyjai]

you make me glad I posted. thank you so much for the encouragement and solutions!

[Selkie]

LadyJai

I, too, have a petite frame. I'm 5'5" and probably weigh about 130. I don't get on the scale---if my clothes fit, I don't worry about it.

Now that I'm almost 43 years old, I realize how much energy I wasted in my late teens/twenties/early thirties worrying about weight. I've never been obese, although I was chubby for a couple semesters in college (too much junk food and alcohol).

Grog is a wise lady and I agree completely with her reply to you.

My opinion---you are being too hard on yourself. You never will be perfect and that's OK. Perfect is boring, in my opinion Sounds like you're healthy, active, have a full life, and are attractive. Enjoy what you have -- I predict that, in 20 years, you will look at photos of yourself at your current age and think, "hey, I looked GOOD." Remember that as a woman, a little padding is normal and will protect your bones.

[runnergirl]

hey lady jai,

I could have written most of your post myself! I'm an inch taller and 5lbs heavier, and also used to be close to 170 (about 3-4 years ago). I am still very unhappy with my body-thighs in particular. I have these odd fat pads (totally genetic) that make buying pants literally impossible. I can only buy drawstring waisted pants, and even that can be difficult.

Even if your mom doesn't carry fat a certain way, chances are some female in your family does, and there's little that can change it. Have you had your bf% tested? That's the best measure of how much change is possible. Adding weight training is a good idea for injury prevention, bone building, etc. and might help your body composition as well.

Racing is what keeps me from an eating disorder. I can't race to win if I'm not eating enough, and I'd be letting down my adventure racing team mates if I'm not at peak performance. It sounds like you've got the same perspective, so I wouldn't worry about it-that only makes you more obsessive!

I'm young too (23), and it's especially tough to see "skinny" friends who look great in a bikini but couldn't ride 2 miles if they tried. That's what society expects of 20 somethings, to which I (try) to say $%#&@ society-I'm strong and can do kick *** stuff that is a helluva lot more fun than being ogled at the beach. Of course this goes out the window when I'm in the dressing room trying on the 12th pair of pants, but I try for a positive attitude 70% of the time.

You're young, fit, and I'm sure look great! I think I've rambled enough now.

[ladyjai]

yeah, my grandma did, and i am lucky to have ankles, as she didn't!

thank you!! I have been feeling down, and it's nice getting a wise perspective from other women. I don't want to fret away my years concerned with weight and such

[CorsairMac]

My last husband obsessed over those cute little aerobic bunnies on the morning exercise shows to the point I went on a starvation diet to try and look like them. Bottom line: He's now an ex!! and I'll Never look like them!! It's taken me close to 6 yrs to recover from the self-image damage done during that time, and some days I'm not over it. But I learned the advice Mick gave - if my jeans fit and I can ride 5000 miles a year, then who cares what I look like! I even keep 2 jean sizes in the house so on those days when the smaller size doesn't feel comfortable (things like water weight, last nights food binge, whatever), I just switch out jeans.......I don't see it as a setback - it's just another place my body is at right now. and I amaze myself that I'm in better shape and more active now at 47, 5.2" and 140-150 (I get heavier in the winter lol) than I was at 27, 5.2" and 125. and I have Yet to have a dr tell me I need to "lose a few more pounds" when they see my exercise/workout schedule! If you're fussing over the junk you're eating at work, bring in your own foods and/or go out for a lunchtime ride/walk. See if that doesn't help you over the "binge" craving. Whatever, don't stress it, your accomplishments Shout for themselves, embrace them for their worth!!

Oh and clothes size: it's just a number as you said, one brands 10,12 whatever is another brands 12,14 or 8,10, I don't even know half the time what size I'm wearing, but I know they're comfortable!

[Trekhawk]

Great advice here from the ladies.
All I will add is to say think of yourself as a whole. Its hard not to concentrate on what we lack or feel we lack in our physical attributes but you are so much more to people than how you look. Pick out the things you like most about yourself or what you have accomplished in your life and be proud of those. When you are fifty your friends wont be impressed by tales or how great your thighs looked when you were twenty but they will be impressed by all the other amazing things you have done.

[ladyjai]

When you are fifty your friends wont be impressed by tales or how great your thighs looked when you were twenty but they will be impressed by all the other amazing things you have done.

wow.

it's so true, so wow.


gals, between the posts here and the one in V's... I can't express how much I thank you. I really needed to hear this, and... your words mean alot to me. my original post was a subtle plee for help, and you rose to the occassion and exceeded... i can see this topic is dear to many of you, and I'm loving where it's going. I see there are many roll models here, and I'm glad to get inside a little of your minds.

this is a wonderful forum, that's for sure!