Friendships that you don't drop but wonder

[Grog]

Good friends are like stars, you don't always see them, but you know they're always there.

[badger]

I have two very dear friends that I hardly ever speak to or even write to, but there's just something so profound that it's not even necessary to keep in that close a touch.

Every once in a while there would be an email, but one of them I haven't seen in about 3 years and haven't spoken in about 2. She actually lives a short distance away but we never see each other.

Another one lives in England and when we first met in 1988, we hit it off like house on fire. We lost touch for about 10 years but have now been back in touch. We see each other on average every 2 years and speak almost as infrequently.

I honestly can't describe what we have, but both of these girls mean so much to me, and I know the feeling is mutual.

[Crankin]

I guess I described a "good friend gone bad" in my previous post. But, I do have friends in AZ that I am the same way with, as in I can go years without seeing them, go and visit, and it's like I never left. I used to email one quite frequently; now I see what she's doing on Facebook and email once in awhile. She's living a bit of a different life now, divorced her husband after 25 years, remarried the first guy she dated, and then divorced again.
But, I know if I needed her she (and a few others) would be there in a minute. These are my friends from my play group, which I joined in 1984. Except for the friends I had in middle school, I will never have friendships like those.

[shootingstar]

This friend is perhaps like one of my touchstones in life history....she and I have similar family backgrounds, similar upbringing, same ethnicity (which growing up in German-based city in the 1960's-1970's where there were very few Asians, means something in terms of shared experiences), she also is from a family predominantly sisters with 1 brother, same for me.

Dropping someone like that from my life when she and I have a good friendship (even though it skims the surface at times) and many unspoken understandings/intuitive shared experiences, may not be the best.

Yes, I do accept for what it is. After all, being good friends for a very long time, means not asking the person to be any different from their core goodness. As time marches on, this becomes more and more important.

[Miranda]

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/reason-season-lifetime/

Sometimes when I have questioned my relationships with others, this poem seems to always bring me some perspective.

I'm sure your friend is still your "friend". It just depends what role her "friendship" has in your life.

[jessmarimba]

I have a friend that I considered, at one point, to be like a brother. We've drifted apart and I've rarely seen him for the last few years, since we live in different states. We pretty much hang out when he's working someplace cool and I have time to go visit (ie, Telluride Film Festival or similar events).

I was starting to get irritated with him when I knew he was the closest friend (geographically) when I was in the hospital and he didn't come visit. A few weeks ago he called a couple times at 2am and I didn't answer, and I woke up and found him sleeping on my couch. He'd broken into my house through a cracked window. Now...we're done. That was really not cool. But I haven't told him - I guess I'll just let the drifting stay drifted.

[Roadtrip]

I had a friend who I would consider distant. We struck it off and developed a bond that I wasn't really expecting, seeing she was old enough to be my mom, tho I found in her at that time someone I could talk to and relate to.

We talked about everything and anything. Crying together, laughing together, and I'd try my best to bring her around when she fought depression. She came to visit my family and I hers, but we drifted apart. I started my career and met my then-to-be husband and while we communicated off and on over the years, never to the depth that we once shared, for that I felt somewhat at fault... She made me feel at fault. Perhaps because I was living my life and she had already lived hers. I don't know, but it's part of the reason that I we drifted apart. I would send Christmas cards and Birthday wishes those small gestures weren't returned or even appreciated so that eventually stopped too.

Almost a decade goes by and I found that she had a Facebook page and briefly reconnected with her only to find that she was very sick and undergoing Chemo. She was very weak but in those last few months before the cancer took her, I told her that I enjoyed the times we had together and regretted the time we had lost. She admitted to me she wasn't mad at me, but that she simply wanted me to spread my wings and fly without her if need be, so we were "OK" when the end came.

I still regret not having been open years earlier so we could have had more then a few brief weeks.

In the end... you have to get busy living or get busy dying. No regrets.

Shannon