Quote Originally Posted by spindizzy View Post
Do not compare yourself to DH. Think positively.. you will improve your fitness and it may be just baby steps at first. Celebrate each small milestone. Think positively.
This is the truth. It may help you to do some solo rides where you can focus on yourself without feeling guilty about slowing him down or that he might be bored.

Speaking as the spouse to a husband closer to your situation, I am not bored even though he's often riding slower than the speed it takes me to go uphill. I enjoy riding with my husband because I love being with him and I find time to satisfy my own need to go out and hammer separately. If your husband is like me, he is happy to see you out riding, happy to be doing it with you.

That said, when I was first starting, I did need to just ride by myself sometimes and sort out why it was so hard for me and what the learning curve was. 6 miles felt like forever the first time we did it, we had to stop and take multiple breaks. There were days I was in tears because it was so frustrating, I stopped to let my husband continue so I could ride, tears streaming down my face, by myself. Like you, I felt stupid. Why was it so hard? It's just a bike.

You just have to stick with it and every day do a little more. Some days you leave the bike in the garage and take a break, some days you ride around the block and that's good enough. Some days you feel great and you ride farther than you have before. As you learn, you learn how things like tire pressure, the weather, and your daily routine affect your cycling, and you look back and think "no WONDER this was so hard for me, why I was being so hard on myself!"

I have been where you are, and trust me, you CAN overcome it to go on and ride longer rides, enjoy the scenery, and figure out what kind of rider you are. You may never ride the Tourmalet, and that's okay! You ride what makes YOU happy.

Thank you for this post. You don't know how many other people out there might be in the same place you are who need to know that there are others like them - not to feel guilty about having feelings or questioning themselves.