Oh, I didn't see the third review. I'm not going to toss them either. I'm tempted to sew a big heart across the "crack" area, just to be cheeky (literally). Or, I suppose the compression shorts would work
Embroider "honk if you're horny!" on the heart [there's a local bike commuter who put that on a sign attached to his panniers---he gets honked at a lot]
Luna Eclipse//Terry B'fly
Luna Orbit//Sella Italia Ldy Gel Flow
Bianchi Eros Donna//Terry Falcon
Seven Alaris//Jett 143
Terry Isis (Titanium)//Terry B'fly