depression

[redrhodie]

Yesterday my friend talked to another one of her friends about her depression. Her friend has been on anti-depressants, and had good advice, and I think it's great she talked to her. I'm really encouraged that she's trying to figure this out, and is talking about it more. That's got to be a good sign.

I've known her for several years, and this has been going on (in ebbs and flows) since I first met her. It's hard because what I see isn't how she feels. She looks great to me, and when she'd say she's depressed, I guess I thought she was exaggerating. I think this is probably a really common reaction, so I won't beat myself up about it. I'm listening now.

Hugs to all of you who have been dealing with this personally. You give me great hope.

[channlluv]

You're doing exactly the right thing, and so is she. It's great that she's talking about it with her friends, and that you guys are actually listening to her. That doesn't happen near enough.

Roxy

[alexis_the_tiny]

Its terrific that your friend has you trying to help her. Don't give yourself grief if you don't see her depression. I've been disgnosed with low level depression and anxiety, generally, the worse I feel, the happier and more competent I'll become on the outside until I reach a breaking point.

She doesn't necessarily have to take medication although it can be helpful as a 'rescue' option. A good psychiatrist will find out what she's comfortable with before offering her options unless she really needs the meds for her own safety. What really works is to find a therapist she can 'click' with and attending therapy religiously. It may not seem to work for anything from the first month to a bunch of years- I quit therapy many times in the early days because it felt futile, but sticking to it will pay off eventually.

There's an article somewhere that recommends people with depression get lots of sunlight, exercise, sleep (8 hours or more), Omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants, plus social interaction as a cure. I have my reservations when anyone mentions a 'cure' for depression but considering that they all seem like a common sense way to improve quality of life, it won't be much harm to start trying any of them. If it can help to control the depression, awesome, if not, well, at least her lifestyle is healthier.

Lastly, if her partner might be a factor in her depression, she should consider a therapist who is able to work with couples or asking her therapist to recommend one. If I'm in a serious relationship, my therapist will, at some point, ask me to bring my partner in for a session even if things are ok because a big part of my depression/anxiety stems from an inability to express my needs and worries to anyone. Couples therapy might help them work out what might be her triggers and how to cope.

Good luck to your friend! =)

[redrhodie]

Thank you. She's still not gone for counseling, yet. Another member of our team is also having depression issues, and she's actively seeking help. My friend is waiting for her to find a therapist she likes. She (this other person) went to a clinic this week, and it wasn't a good fit, so the search is still on. I'm not sure this is the best way for my friend to get help, since they have very different issues, but that's what's happening.

Her relationship seems to be a huge factor in her depression. I don't think they're "together" enough for him to go to counseling with her, not that he would have ever been open to that. I think she'll have to do this on her own, and that's probably what deep inside she knows, and why she is procrastinating.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Its ok, just keep prodding her on to find a therapist at occasional intervals. Somehow, I find that I'm a BIG TIME procrastinator when in the middle of a very depressive period. It might be what's happening with her.

A good therapist will not prod her to any realizations or make her make any decisions regarding the relationship while she is not ready. Instead, its simply a safe place for her to vent until she decides for herself what to do about it. A good therapist knows that you can't force anyone regarding decisions about relationships. If your friend is procrastinating because of that, let her know that a therapist won't force any conclusions on her and keep encouraging her to seek help. =)

[stella2]

I agree with all the great suggestions above. I work in mental health in the UK and I have heard surprisingly good things from colleagues and patients about Mind Gym. It's a online resource programme of CBT for Depression. Folk can work through it at their own pace and it's free!

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

[hirakukibou]

I have dealt with depression much of my life and was profiled in Psychology Today last year:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...ning-heartache

It is a tough illness and I think one that need to be approached in a multifaceted way. In my experience, there is no quick fix. I also know that my friends are critical to my mental health and the ones where I can be real, even if I am depressed, without judgment or attempts to fix me, are the ones to whom I am closest.

(I also write about this in my blog.)