Thanks, ladies. I showed my uterus who's boss.
Of course, the Bailey's and Ibuprofen after the race helped, too!
I will be trying again at another sprint tri on July 25 - Trek Women's Tri in Columbus. I won't have my boyfriend there to get me through the swim, but I'm crossing my fingers that I am not on my period! The bike and run will be slightly shorter, so I should be able to crank those out pretty hard. 
It helps that I got to enter the race for $1!
I am, however, planning on sticking to duathlons through the rest of this year after the Trek tri. I will work harder on swimming over the winter, so hopefully I feel comfortable enough for some real triathlons next year.
“Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all.”
- Emily Dickinson