I think that phrases like aggressive, harder, faster, etc can be difficult terms, they imply that one ride/style/woman is more or less of something than another. This is sometimes problematic because one would hope that we could appreciate each other as distinct human beings, who are we to say that a middle aged woman taking up mountain biking on fire roads after raising three kids and beating breast cancer is more or less a mountain biker than a teenager flying down the trial on a huffy, or a racer with a long history of wins and the latest tricked out fs ride? I think that it is the context of your ride which matters as much as the content.
And props to you ladies who do downhill, at least from the guys I know it can be a hell of a boys club, you must put up with some annoying crap. I'm sorry that you haven't found as much support here as you should have. Hopefully this is an exception, not the rule.
And back to the original topic, on the subject of gear for nasty trails, I've found that Terry shorts are my least favorite, they stain and rip, mountain biking gear should not hold onto mud stains, I really like Harlot the material seems bomb proof, and the lengths are longer, but I wish there were more pockets.