My overuse injury from 2007 has returned. I'd like to blame it on my body just being genetically wrong - hammer toes and bunions, hugely overpronated...

But really, it's my lack of training. It was the same thing in 2007. Sure I can do a double century when my longest ride in the last 3 months was fifty miles...

I do mental toughness during the event very well. In the months leading up to it... not so much. Being incredibly introspective, too much so sometimes, I wonder, "What's the deal?"

I know I can blame some of it on not wanting to train in the wind, rain and cold. That stuff I can make myself suck up and just do. I've got the clothes and really it's not so bad once you're out doing it.

But how many days have I come home just mentally and emotionally drained from work? Why do I let the kids who just want to be lumps get to me so much? How many days did I just go home and sleep because I was worn out from the frustration. Even now as I look around my room at the kids who should be silently reading and aren't, I wonder why do I care so much. Why do I get so emotionally invested that I lose sight of what I want to do, what my personal priorities are?

I wonder how the other teachers who training for even bigger races stay focused?

The mental toughness I need to cultivate is to not get so involved, to not carry that frustration around with me all day, to not let it sap all the life out of me.

Okay, back to work.

Veronica