Would you accept a monetary gift from a friend?

[ny biker]

I have to admit I was feeling really strange about her offer at first. But after reading all of your posts, I started to think I might accept it. She is a good friend. I know there would be no strings attached and no expectations.

Last night I discussed it with DH. He looked so defeated when I told him about her offer. I know he feels bad that I'm having to work 2 jobs right now and that he can't provide for us the way he wants to. He's working so hard. He has a family business with his parents, they are having health issues right now. DH is juggling 3 jobs and also trying to chase new work.

Anyways, all that to say, I think I'm going to tell my friend no. Missing one trip is not a big deal. DH has enough pressure on him right now without adding more guilt.

FWIW, my father worked 2-3 jobs while I was growing up just to pay the bills. We never had a lot of money. Most of our vacations were trips to visit relatives, staying at their house. When we did go anywhere else, we always went camping because we couldn't afford to stay in hotels. And going out to dinner was usually McDonalds. But my friend whose family had lots of money once described his father as "a ball of hate." I'd much rather have my parents than his.

[limewave]

We've already gotten so much help and support from our friends and community in small ways that have really added up. This particular friend was able to get baby formula for us at 50% of the price. And a relative works at Gerber and could get us boxes of baby food for $2-3.

I've also done bartering for services: we've exchanged for free lawn care (we had 8 stumps ground out), daycare services, piano lessons for DD, unlimited supply of bake goods and bread. We're really fortunate. I design a lot of race t-shirts so DH and I can do events for free.

[Flybye]

I have done it for a friend too - gave her $$ so that we could go to a hotel for the weekend together and shop and play. It blessed ME to be able to do that for her.

[bcipam]

I have mixed feelings about this...

First off, we should not refuse "gifts". Gift giving is a pleasure for most and refusing to accept such gifts is disrespectful. That said, this isn't really a gift, something given in exchange for celebration, or congratulations etc. Your friend needs a partner or most likely she can't go on the trip. I have offered to pay for friends as well as I don't like to go on trips alone. That said, understand the nature and intent of the offer. Personally, if she is a good forend, I would agree to accept the "loan" but offer to pay her back later either in money, services or goods. I would definitely agree to pay for meals, or gas or other incidentals during the trip.

Only you really know the nature of your friendship and you need to weigh how this is going to affect that friendship. Another thing to offer... some time ago, I was struggling to pay off my credit cards bills. I had friends taking this trip or that and i wanted to go. I even had a friend agree to pay for airfare to Europe. I almost jumped at the chance but then came to my senses... I needed to get out of debt and not incur more. I needed to bite the bullet and for 3 years took no trips or vacations. Now I am debt free and can travel without guilt. I think you made the right decision....