I think you are doing the right thing, Lime. You have to listen to your gut and after the reaction you received from your husband, I don't think it would be worth it. Men tend to measure their self-worth by how well they are providing for their families. There may be more damage to your husband's mental state than benefit to yours if you accepted.

I'm in the minority here as well and agree with Shootingstar, Skierchickie and youforgot. I am very generous and have done my share of anonymous gift giving and paying it forward. I have also been the recipient when I fell on hard times. During my divorce, my kids and I moved to a new town and I wasn't receiving any support from my ex-husband. Some of my coworkers suprised me with baskets of food and some money for groceries. I needed it desperately and was very thankful and appreciative but felt that it elevated them above me and didn't do much to help my already rock-bottom self-esteem. I paid them all back or returned the favor over the next few years and it bothered me until I did. I just don't think loaning money between family or friends is a good idea.