Mother dearest,

It is not a personal offense to you when I decide to "ground" dd. I am not trying to take away Gramma and Grampa--that is not even part of the equation. DD sees you every week, sometimes more than that. I think that missing one day with Gramma and Grampa would not be the end of the world. It's unfortunate that you had plans with her right then, but if we had special plans ourselves, I would have cancelled those too.

And as for your remark about the "punishment fitting the crime," well, I do think its appropriate. Furthermore, my decision to ground her had less to do with punishment than it did for her own benefit.

When DD acts out as severely as she did over the weekend I . . .
1) Cannot imagine taking a child out in public that is behaving that way
2) Think that we've had a busy schedule and maybe DD needs a quiet day at home with her mom and dad.

You have made it very clear to me in the past that how we discipline our children is my business and that you want absolutely no part in it. Why are you sticking your nose in now?

I understand that you want the kids to remember you fondly someday. That's why you spoil them. But you have an opportunity to leave them with a real legacy: character, integrity, compassion. You can help give that to them by providing some structure and boundaries for them.

It makes me feel like I'm dealing with another preschooler when you cry every time I have to put DD in time-out. Seriously, if I had acted like that when I was a kid, dad would have gotten the belt out and you would have screamed at me for hours while stomping around the house slamming doors.

Sincerely,
Me