For those of us middle-aged, read on.

[Crankin]

StaceySue, I think your DH has a lot of nerve saying that to you! He thinks it's OK to have a double standard? I think it is definitely *his* perception/problem, because my DH and most of my male friends are of that generation and do not think like that.
I choose not to be gray, but my DH would never say anything if I did. He is a couple of years younger and has been gray for a long time. In fact, last night he caught a glimpse of himelf in the mirror and said, "I am completely bald on the back of my head!" He was seriously distressed over this, but I could care less.
I may want to look a certain way, but it's for me, not someone else.

[TrekTheKaty]

Well, I guess I'm going to be 39 this year--does that classify as middle age? I have more confidence and I'm more comfortable in my own skin than when I was younger. My stylist politely pointed out that it simply means I don't get any more birthdays--"You'll never get any older!" I don't mind the wrinkles, and I'm in better shape than high school. I always swore I'd never dye my hair or have plastic surgery, which means--it is what it is. My sister is 25 years older than me, and she is my inspiration. I don't view her as old. She had never been on a bicycle until 4 years ago. I can barely keep up with her.

While at a ride this weekend, I commented. "Maybe when I get older, I'll get one of those cool looking trikes!" Then I realized, I have trouble keeping up with my sister. Exactly how old would I have to be?!

It's all about self-confidence. I don't care what others think. Besides, my husband and all my girlfriends are older, so I don't get to complain about aging

[staceysue]

StaceySue, I think your DH has a lot of nerve saying that to you! He thinks it's OK to have a double standard? I think it is definitely *his* perception/problem, because my DH and most of my male friends are of that generation and do not think like that.
I choose not to be gray, but my DH would never say anything if I did. He is a couple of years younger and has been gray for a long time. In fact, last night he caught a glimpse of himelf in the mirror and said, "I am completely bald on the back of my head!" He was seriously distressed over this, but I could care less.
I may want to look a certain way, but it's for me, not someone else.

Yeah he DOES have some nerve, considering the fact that he's 18 years older than me and barely even looks in a mirror. He's naturally good-looking and does look younger than he is but still, the age difference is very noticeable because I look younger than I am. If I grow my gray streaks out people will stop looking at us and trying to figure us out.

Besides - it's time for me to sit at the grownup table. It makes me happy to look at people my age and their achievements and think "Wow - those are my classmates. I'm finally an adult." I don't like it at all when people think I'm younger than I am and treat me as if I don't have any credibility. I have been through a lot in my life, and I've achieved a lot, and I've earned every single gray hair.

DH has to have a hip replacement. He has congenital hip displasia and had reconstructive surgery when he was in his 30s. It's worn out and he needs a complete replacement. I'd like to have a few grays showing to help minimize the funny looks we'll get in the hospital.

Maybe it's not all guys in his age group - just blue collar guys in that age group? I don't know, but a lot of men his age in this community do have the chauvenistic attitude. I'm glad your husband and male friends don't - it's encouraging to hear that.