For those of us middle-aged, read on.

[HermitGirl]

I used to have a severe phobia of getting older. I thought turning 40 would be the end of the world. I had panic attacks thinking about it.Funny thing is - I love being 40! When I turned 40 it was like a huge weight was lifting from my shoulders and I suddenly feel free. I'm free to be me!! I love the gray streaks in my hair and I've stopped dying them. They're like trophies to me.

I'm training for old age as if it's going to be a long wonderful ride. I've found 2 sports I know I can continue into my 90s if I want to - cycling and XC skiing. We're making wonderful progress on our retirement plan, which is to be debt free and food- and energy-sustainable before we retire.

No more planning for "some day" for us, because "some day" is here. We're at the top of our game. We're healthy and happy and enjoying each day.

I also enjoy talking to older people. I met a man in his 90s a couple of days ago. He and his wife went for a 1000-mile bike ride on their tandem bike when they were 69, shortly after he had bypass surgery. He's run 69 marathons and he and his wife spend their time volunteering for the hospital - and truly helping others. When somebody has to have heart surgery and their spouse is left home alone without anybody to be with them while they're worrying, he and his wife volunteer to stay with the spouse. They visit and tell jokes, give them rides to the hospital and back, let them know what to expect, and help them through an extraordinarily difficult time.

I've found older people who are my heroes and my inspiration, and I am no longer afraid of aging.

I believe growing old gracefully is about shedding our fears and embracing it.

Bravo StacySue! I think being good friends with your spouse/partner has a lot to do with it. I confess I am embarrassed about my mid-aged spread and feel under the judging eye of my very slim (and sometimes self-riteous) DH. Weight gain in Peri, not being the athlete I once thought myself to be , and which my DH admired, (nor the sexgoddess.. lol) really has gotten me down. I am trying to focus on *other* aspects of life which make me feel like somebody who is dynamic and charismatic (as I use to be), instead of frumpy and feeling I"m *no longer* who I use to be. In therapy with H. and working it out, but I am on the verge of dispair so much, getting more and more hung up about my body, which is choking out so much joy. I want to be past all of this ; the moodiness, the mind-mush forgetfulness.. and getting depressed about it. I so need to have a vision of myself in control of all of this ~ beautiful, not frumpy. Very personal, but there it is.

I feel like I'm in a slow trainwreck, and this is *not* the way to age gracefully... but rather disgracefully !