For those of us middle-aged, read on.

[HermitGirl]

Hello kids ~ I was out watering my roses just now, and wondering what the trick is to age gracefully , of mind, of body, and of spirit.

Before I comment further as to why I need to question it, I'd like to draw from the large pool of wisdom here on TE, from those mid-aged and older.

What do you think the trick is in aging gracefully?

[roadie gal]

I turned 51 in January. Here are some things that I've learned.

1. Turn off the TV. Don't pay attention to what is deemed beautiful on TV. It's unreal and unobtainable.

2. Laugh at yourself.

3. Try not to stress the changes that you see and feel. They're natural and right. The medical community (and I'm part of that) and the media makes it seem that being an aging woman is a disease. It's not. Accept what's going on and it becomes easier. It's not always pleasant, but it becomes less aggravating.

4. Keep trying new things. I did my first triathlon at 46. I got my first tattoo at 51. They don't have to be momentous things, just something new. Visit a new place, try a new hairdo, read a different genre of book, etc.

5. Did I say laugh at yourself? I meant it.

What I love most about being middle aged is that the pressure is off. I don't have to compete with the 20-somethings or even the 30-somethings. It's very freeing. I can be myself without expectations.

[HermitGirl]

I turned 51 in January. Here are some things that I've learned.

1. Turn off the TV. Don't pay attention to what is deemed beautiful on TV. It's unreal and unobtainable.

2. Laugh at yourself.

3. Try not to stress the changes that you see and feel. They're natural and right. The medical community (and I'm part of that) and the media makes it seem that being an aging woman is a disease. It's not. Accept what's going on and it becomes easier. It's not always pleasant, but it becomes less aggravating.

4. Keep trying new things. I did my first triathlon at 46. I got my first tattoo at 51. They don't have to be momentous things, just something new. Visit a new place, try a new hairdo, read a different genre of book, etc.

5. Did I say laugh at yourself? I meant it.

What I love most about being middle aged is that the pressure is off. I don't have to compete with the 20-somethings or even the 30-somethings. It's very freeing. I can be myself without expectations.

Sweeeet ! Just what I needed to read. I will try laughing more, for starters. lol.... ha ! I so agree with the self image warping in contrast to medical commentary everywhere, and to media. I try to turn away from both, but that can be an isolating thing too, so it helps to talk with others about that. As for trying new things, very interesting... it *has* been some time for me. I'll think that over. In one sense, going back into >>> bicycling, is a biggy, though not new, it feels like it now that I'm 15 years older!

[shootingstar]

Agree with everything so far....and to add:

while physical problems that are natural (menopause, etc.) need to be occasionally talked about for solutions (and venting), also focus more on the good stuff inside yourself that you might have taken for granted...your mobility, creativity, etc. and make the most of it.

Roadie, you're a 1959 Aquarius baby too?

[jobob]

I turned 51 in January. Here are some things that I've learned.

Roadie gal, this is a great list. Thanks.

I've been in a bit of a funk lately, some of it having to do with the getting older thing. I think I'm coming out of it.
Excellent timing for this thread.

[HermitGirl]

Ooops, I just realized my profile didn't have my age/date of birth visible. I just edited it, and you can all see now... no more secrets.

[HermitGirl]

I've been in a bit of a funk lately, some of it having to do with the getting older thing. I think I'm coming out of it.
Excellent timing for this thread.

Me too ! I go in and out. It helps to hunker with my peers though, and yak about it. Thanks for jumping in !

[staceysue]

What I love most about being middle aged is that the pressure is off. I don't have to compete with the 20-somethings or even the 30-somethings. It's very freeing. I can be myself without expectations.

That is SO TRUE.

I used to have a severe phobia of getting older. I thought turning 40 would be the end of the world. I had panic attacks thinking about it.

Funny thing is - I love being 40! When I turned 40 it was like a huge weight was lifting from my shoulders and I suddenly feel free. I'm free to be me!!

I love the gray streaks in my hair and I've stopped dying them. They're like trophies to me.

I'm training for old age as if it's going to be a long wonderful ride. I've found 2 sports I know I can continue into my 90s if I want to - cycling and XC skiing. We're making wonderful progress on our retirement plan, which is to be debt free and food- and energy-sustainable before we retire.

No more planning for "some day" for us, because "some day" is here. We're at the top of our game. We're healthy and happy and enjoying each day.

I also enjoy talking to older people. I met a man in his 90s a couple of days ago. He and his wife went for a 1000-mile bike ride on their tandem bike when they were 69, shortly after he had bypass surgery. He's run 69 marathons and he and his wife spend their time volunteering for the hospital - and truly helping others. When somebody has to have heart surgery and their spouse is left home alone without anybody to be with them while they're worrying, he and his wife volunteer to stay with the spouse. They visit and tell jokes, give them rides to the hospital and back, let them know what to expect, and help them through an extraordinarily difficult time.

I've found older people who are my heroes and my inspiration, and I am no longer afraid of aging.

I believe growing old gracefully is about shedding our fears and embracing it.

[HermitGirl]

I used to have a severe phobia of getting older. I thought turning 40 would be the end of the world. I had panic attacks thinking about it.Funny thing is - I love being 40! When I turned 40 it was like a huge weight was lifting from my shoulders and I suddenly feel free. I'm free to be me!! I love the gray streaks in my hair and I've stopped dying them. They're like trophies to me.

I'm training for old age as if it's going to be a long wonderful ride. I've found 2 sports I know I can continue into my 90s if I want to - cycling and XC skiing. We're making wonderful progress on our retirement plan, which is to be debt free and food- and energy-sustainable before we retire.

No more planning for "some day" for us, because "some day" is here. We're at the top of our game. We're healthy and happy and enjoying each day.

I also enjoy talking to older people. I met a man in his 90s a couple of days ago. He and his wife went for a 1000-mile bike ride on their tandem bike when they were 69, shortly after he had bypass surgery. He's run 69 marathons and he and his wife spend their time volunteering for the hospital - and truly helping others. When somebody has to have heart surgery and their spouse is left home alone without anybody to be with them while they're worrying, he and his wife volunteer to stay with the spouse. They visit and tell jokes, give them rides to the hospital and back, let them know what to expect, and help them through an extraordinarily difficult time.

I've found older people who are my heroes and my inspiration, and I am no longer afraid of aging.

I believe growing old gracefully is about shedding our fears and embracing it.

Bravo StacySue! I think being good friends with your spouse/partner has a lot to do with it. I confess I am embarrassed about my mid-aged spread and feel under the judging eye of my very slim (and sometimes self-riteous) DH. Weight gain in Peri, not being the athlete I once thought myself to be , and which my DH admired, (nor the sexgoddess.. lol) really has gotten me down. I am trying to focus on *other* aspects of life which make me feel like somebody who is dynamic and charismatic (as I use to be), instead of frumpy and feeling I"m *no longer* who I use to be. In therapy with H. and working it out, but I am on the verge of dispair so much, getting more and more hung up about my body, which is choking out so much joy. I want to be past all of this ; the moodiness, the mind-mush forgetfulness.. and getting depressed about it. I so need to have a vision of myself in control of all of this ~ beautiful, not frumpy. Very personal, but there it is.

I feel like I'm in a slow trainwreck, and this is *not* the way to age gracefully... but rather disgracefully !

[staceysue]

Hermitgirl, it sounds like you have a lot of fears. I've been there - "on the verge of despair" every day for years. Meditation has helped me tremendously.

[mhami]

Being in my mid forties, I guess this thread applies to me. LOL. I'm going to answer this before reading on to see what the rest of you think. When I read on I feel that everyone else has done such a good job of answering that my response is not needed (or not as smart as everyone else's).

I think the key to aging gracefully is to keep up with the times. Learn new things and don't become overwhelmed by new technology. Of course, excercise and eating healthy are important too. Most importantly is to keep the mind active and try to keep a positivie attitude.

[HermitGirl]

Hermitgirl, it sounds like you have a lot of fears. I've been there - "on the verge of despair" every day for years. Meditation has helped me tremendously.

Then lets add MEDITATION to the list ! For me, informally, daily (when I make it daily) hiking has been my meditation. Maybe you could elaborate about what youve found helpful?

[HermitGirl]

Being in my mid forties, I guess this thread applies to me. LOL. I'm going to answer this before reading on to see what the rest of you think. When I read on I feel that everyone else has done such a good job of answering that my response is not needed (or not as smart as everyone else's).

I think the key to aging gracefully is to keep up with the times. Learn new things and don't become overwhelmed by new technology. Of course, excercise and eating healthy are important too. Most importantly is to keep the mind active and try to keep a positivie attitude.

That's the whole thing about 'polls', you must add your bit, regardless of whether it's been said already. Thank you !

[Biciclista]

Hermit girl, you don't have to show your actual birthdate, I wouldn't show mine for fears of identity theft.
I am going to be 59 this year.
Honestly, I don't identify with being "middleaged" any more. I'm looking to retire!
What to do? You MUST apply yourself to something that YOU think is meaningful for YOU. What are you doing? are you just making the motions as you rush through your day to day routine or are you walking the walk and talking the talk. That is, the walk and talk that are important to YOU.

Meanwhile, yes, since your body IS the vehicle that takes you through this earthplane, you have to take care of it... exercise, eating right, and that last thing again, your soul... Is your soul happy with your life?

[Catrin]

I am 50, and at this point I doubt that I will be ever able to actually retire... just too many debts for lots of complicated reasons. Of course I am quite some ways away from retirement and who can say what will happen between now and then?

I've finally learned to start being comfortable with the body that I have, and it seems the more comfy I am with it that it gets in better shape. Interesting thing, that! I do not worry so much about keeping up with the current things - if something new comes that seems interesting then I will try it, if it doesn't then I won't - that is one of the nice things about being 50

I think the most important things are to be kind to oneself and others, learn new things that you enjoy, engage in whatever physical activities that engage you, and do something from time to time that stretches you beyond your comfort level.

I hated turning 30, that was a major head trip. 40 was pretty cool, but I feel better at 50 than at 40 OR 30. Rejuvenation by bike, indeed