Yes, sorry, it is kind of confusing. My mom cannot be the one to deal with it though. If she knew the snippy remark grandma made in her letter to me about "other" aunt, aka, my mom's sister, I think that would put my mom over the edge in her long, precarious relationship with my grandma. I am the oldest of my siblings and I guess, considered the statesperson in our family.

Help for grandma? That's another thing, she lives in an apt complex for elders, and they have services available, she just doesn't like to use them. She would prefer the family make sure she gets to all her appointments and stops to visit frequently (she noted that my dad stopped every day - I guess she expects the same from others). I am just lucky I don't live in the same town, but my mom and a sibling are the frequent recipients of that guilt trip.

I long ago deemed grandma, Master of the Guilt Trip.