Thanks Oakleaf. I remember you from the *two* other times I came dragging into this forum in the same state I'm in now. You're right, I think that for one, I never really thought about how the 7 years OFF my bike(s) might be valuable. Also, the other two times I showed up here, ready to Start All Over, I was still rather grandiose from former ability, and more importantly, was not able to accept my condition of perimenopause being a COLOSSAL factor. It really is. I mean, my body feels like an imposter, it's as if I'm trying to live true to myself remotely, from inside an out-of-control physical presence. Eating is the most difficult discipline for me at this time, so I must compensate with the calories out. All in good time, and there's only one place to begin, and that's down on the 'flatter' section of the mtn, doing the 4-10mi rides, before I am fit enough to really get some confidence riding from home. Music? PM me, lets talk !