Mom in turmoil/Daughter in Trouble

[bmccasland]

Gee this sounds familiar...

Been there, done that, but don't have a souvenir T-shirt to show for it. And I broke the cycle by not having children. Drastic measures, I know.

What I can add is only that unfortunately your older daughter grew up with the preception that that sort of treatment is to a certain extent "normal." I'm not saying she's a lost cause, but it's hard to break the cycle. Continue to a positive support to her, but make certain that you take care of you. Try not to cut the boyfriend down too much, that may chase her away, but to point out the positive things in her life. Lift her up, but don't put him down.

[Desert Tortoise]

Wow! You are an incredible woman and mom. You have fought a tough fight and came out triumphant. Your daughters see and will continue to see your fine example.

Your oldest is struggling now but with your open arms and family support she will find her way. It might not happen quickly or even the first time around but it sounds like she is becoming receptive. The fact the she remains close to you and her sister is very encouraging.

From what you describe, your current relationship is so much better. This could be an example of how a man/husband treats a woman. Does she spend time with you and your SO? Does she see how he treats you? Shouldn't be in her face but subtle. Maybe casual remarks about something small but loving he did for you.

With your love and support your daughter will find her path and be a better and stronger woman for it. I have faith she will. Afterall, look at her mom.