Notice the contrast between:
I tried to leave, and was told by my mom, to stay. Live with it. You can’t live here with me. Won’t help you pay for a divorce.

and

I have offered to help her find a place, to let her live with me, to help pay for things. To help her re-start her life.



You are already trying to break the cycle. The choices we make in relationships are not by chance. There are reasons for it. Unless the reasons and internalized feelings are addressed, chances are that both of you will continue to make these choices. Read about it, seek counseling, whatever it takes, and continue to talk about it. This message board is probably a good place as you will find a lot of people who have been right there with you. I find that even close friends don't always understand the dynamics of a family. This goes way back before either of you started these relationships. Your family growing up. Take a good look at it, were you allowed a voice? your own choices and feelings?

Anyway, your daughter has to make her own choices and you can continue to support and love her and help her when she is ready. I think you also need to take care of yourself. You may think you are out of the fire, but chances are you need to find out why you married him in the first place, and you probably need some help doing that.

Take care.