Mom in turmoil/Daughter in Trouble

[mariacycle]

I am by no means an expert but after years of watching/listening psychologists on TV/radio, I was constantly hearing these facts:
1) a female that grows up with a negative father figure will often seek a similar male for dating/marriage
2) sometimes only a professional can help
Have you considered asking her to go into therapy?

I'm sorry I couldn't impart any remarkable knowledge on you but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope things turn around for your daughter. You were very, very brave in your own struggle and I can only pray that your daughter can be half as brave.

[channlluv]

If he has physically threatened her or your youngest, and you have it on voicemail, aren't there legal ramifications? At the very least, a restraining order to protect you and your youngest. He sounds unhinged.

Roxy

[Crankin]

All of the advice you have received is good. Especially the advice to take her to a battered women's shelter, domestic abuse agency, etc.
She needs to restructure her thinking about what a "normal/healthy" relationship is, since as others have said, she did not have the role model for one. Being there for her, for support, both emotionally, financially, and to provide shelter is very important. I can't tell you how many clients I have seen whose lives were shattered by being in a situation like this. The fact that you got out of an abusive relationship on your own, is amazing.
She needs counseling. If she is in school, they should have a counseling center there, that is free for students. Even if it is only short term, they can refer her to other places. And, they might have support groups there.