highly sensitive person

[Crankin]

Sometimes I am the only one on the train who does not have earbuds on.
The rest are reading a book or doing some kind of puzzle.
I sit and look at the people or stare into space.

Just tore the label out of my new "She loves hills" jersey. Maybe I have it????

[OakLeaf]

And what about the positive side of these traits?

I'm guessing that with a high degree of body awareness, we all eat healthier because we know what foods make us feel like cr*p, and a few minutes of taste gratification aren't worth four days of feeling that way. Maybe we're also in better physical condition, better able to avoid injuries and understand and heal the ones we do get. Maybe our form is better in our physical activities.

With a high degree of situational awareness, maybe we've got great intuition, as GLC referenced. Maybe we're safer riders/drivers if we're less susceptible to tunnel vision. As I said before, maybe we're less likely to listen to iPods, text or talk on the phone while driving/riding/running.

Maybe we've got perfect pitch... or maybe after years away from music when my pitch went flat by a half-tone, I learned that I never really did have perfect pitch, it's just that degree of awareness.

Maybe we can test batteries by licking two fingers and touching them to the poles. (What, can't everyone do that? Household batteries only please no car batteries! )

Maybe we enjoy sex more. Or maybe when there are physical or emotional issues that make sex not fun, we're more likely to deal with them because it's so troubling.

Add yours...

[WindingRoad]

And what about the positive side of these traits?

You guys really should read the books about this, there ARE a lot of positive things associated with HSPs. As with anything have your BS filter on at all times but I found so much of what she wrote about useful to me and especially in my relationships. I don't fit the HSP personality test to a T but pretty darn close. Much of the always feeling like the 'odd woman out' stuff is all too familiar to me. I could ramble for days about these books but I won't because the joy you feel when you find yourself relating to so many people while reading them is amazing. I'll let you find that out for yourselves, I don't want to spoil anything.

[lph]

OakLeaf, with all due respect, I think you're tilting against windmills here

I'll admit that I just took the test and glanced briefly at the rest, but my impression was definitely that the site was saying exactly the same that you are: no, there is nothing wrong with you if you're "sensitive". On the contrary, this is a recognizable pattern and a description that fits 15-20 % of the population, nothing pathological, no diagnosis. And it has positive sides as well as a bunch of challenging points.

For those of you who have been in therapy this may be blindingly obvious, but to me who hasn't this actually gave some insight. And insight makes it easier to identify and avoid "bad" triggers, for one, and feel less guilty about certain things, like being a lot less social than most friends and family.

But I sure could use some of that intuition stuff. Anyone got some to spare??

[PamNY]

Knowing that we are members of an enormous majority of people who can't listen an iPod and pay attention to their driving/riding/running at the same time is just common sense, and the fact that we refuse to engage in this dangerous behavior is not a pathology, however unpopular it may be.JMO...

Sounds as if you are reacting to something that isn't happening here. Nothing in this discussion has stated or implied "pathology."

I don't think an "enormous majority" of people can't listen to an Ipod and pay attention to driving. As far as "unpopular," who cares if someone else listens to an Ipod? Unless the highly sensitive person is a drama queen who can't shut up about her sensitivities, it's not my problem.

This is an interesting and useful discussion to me. I suspect I was a highly sensitive child who was (understandably for the era) forced to shut up about it. As a result, I can't stand listening to people snivel about how delicate they are. So it's helpful to me to get some insight into the varieties of human experience. Might make me less cranky.

[indysteel]

I agree to some extent that we, as a society, are overdiagnosed on some level--both for physical and mental "problems." I also agree that some of that is being driven by drug companies. NPR did a great store a couple months ago about just that--as it relates to bone density drugs and testing.

That said, I'm also happy that the research community is spending time, money and energy on mental health and psychological issues. Yes, there's a lot to wade through and we need to arm ourselves with as much information as possible before jumping on any bandwagon, I'm at least glad there is more and more information out there and that mental health is increasingly becoming a topic that's okay to discuss.

But back to HSP. I agree that there are positives to it. I consider myself to be a very emphathetic person, and that's not something I would change. For me, understanding HSP as a identifiable set of behaviors just helped me start to make sense of things. That became incredibly important at a time in my life when being an HSP became a huge liability.

I was working as a young lawyer in a large law firm. Imagine being an HSP in an environment that is completely frenetic? Lots of noise and interruptions. No control over your schedule. People standing over you as you worked. Having to socialize with large groups of people I didn't know. An ever increasing amoung of work. Conflicting deadlines. I almost went off the deep end at that job, and spent a lot of time beating myself up for it. I simply couldn't grasp why I went from being high functioning to barely being able to get out of the elevator each day to go to my office. The job simply overwhelmed my senses.

I eventually left that job for my current job--a job that is very different. Not long after that, I started therapy and ultimately learned about HSP. While I don't think for a second that HSP fully explains why I suffered so in that job. (the job sucked, period), it did explain why my reaction to some of it was just so visceral. It was a very clear indication to me that I had to be careful in choosing what environments to place myself in.

And I'm completely at peace with that. I don't see being an HSP as problematic for the most part. It just informs me on some level of what's likely to feel good and what isn't. I also don't ruminate about it all time. In fact, before this thread, I hadn't thought about it for several years. It's an interesting topic to revisit though, as I think it might be helpful to view some of the issues I'm currently dealing with through an HSP lens.

[Jolt]

Sometimes I am the only one on the train who does not have earbuds on.
The rest are reading a book or doing some kind of puzzle.
I sit and look at the people or stare into space.

I often listen to music on the train...it helps me block out the obnoxious cell phone conversations, screaming babies, etc. That, in turn, makes it a little easier to try and read/study.

[PamNY]

Sometimes I am the only one on the train who does not have earbuds on. The rest are reading a book or doing some kind of puzzle.
I sit and look at the people or stare into space.

Just FYI, I seriously dislike people who stare at me on the train. There is a very fine line between "looking at" and "staring at," I realize.

[GLC1968]

For those of you who have been in therapy this may be blindingly obvious, but to me who hasn't this actually gave some insight. And insight makes it easier to identify and avoid "bad" triggers, for one, and feel less guilty about certain things, like being a lot less social than most friends and family.

Exactly.

Let me suggest how insignificant this is in the grand scheme of my life. I've NEVER been to therapy and I consider myself an exceedingly well adjusted contributing member of society. If I'm not happy, I blame only myself and I take steps to change it. I have lived a very positive, very fullfilled life. HSP is NOT a crutch or a death sentence, or really even a problem.

I would strongly disagree that knowing this is 'common sense' as I have a great deal of common sense and it would never occur to me that 1/5 of the population would also have these odd traits. If I had given it any thought, I guess I would assume that there were other people like me out there somewhere, but the chances of actually meeting them were slim to none. It's not exactly mainstream conversation material, right? Additionally, the thought that this HSP is prevalent enough that people have actually studied it and given it a name is kind of mind-boggling to me.

Will this change anything in my life? Not really. I have added one more book to my reading list, though.

[badger]

as others have already pointed out, I think this discussion is NOT about pathology or focusing on the negative but actually celebrating the positive about it. To me it's great.

It's not like I'm being validated that I've got issues and need therapy to cope with life (been there done that). It's just to reassure us that what we're feeling isn't BAD, and in fact GOOD when it comes to survival instincts.

And it's not just humans who are highly sensitive; animals are, too. They've even found some goldfish to have highly senstive traits, and those will be the ones who'll surive because they'll be the cautious ones who won't jump out the fish bowl to shrivel up.

[Crankin]

Pam, I don't "stare" at people. I look, and maybe stare at the posters on the wall of the train. I only ride for 2 stops, so I don't have too much time there, thankfully. I can't read on the train... makes me dizzy. I can read on the commuter rail, when and if I take it, since I am on for 40 minutes or so. It goes slower.
I just don't like buds in my ears, nor do I have any great desire to listen to music.
Jolt, I think you get more of the cell phone conversations on the commuter rail, when people have more time. Not so much on the Red line. That would bug me, too, since it bugs me anywhere out in public.
Sounds like the "things that piss me off" thread.

[ridenread]

As a therapist who works with children with sensory processing disorders I find this discussion very interesting. Sensory processing issues are very often unrecognized and misunderstood. Yes many people have sensitivities to certain aspects of life... noise, touch ,crowds, lights and still manage to live their day to day lives without incident. We all have our "quirks"

Most people who are "highly sensitive" do not have a disorder.Their nervous system perceives things differently and they learn how to cope. Interestingly many "highly sensitive" people turn to activities such as running and cycling because of the calming benefits it has on their nervous systems.

However there are those that are "disordered" and it can severely impact all aspects of life. There are many people who have spent years in therapy for anxiety, depression, feeling that they do not fit in with other people and just always feeling "different". There are many who try to self medicate with drugs or alcohol.
Sensory "differences" are very real and can be life altering to many.

[shootingstar]

Thx for your perspective ridenread.