highly sensitive person

[indysteel]

It's actually been a while since I've given my likely status as an HSP much thought as it relates to certain issues in my life so this thread is a good reminder for me.

For instance, since meeting my now husband, I've totally bristled at spending time with his parents either in their house or their RV. I haven't analyzed that issue in terms of being a HSP. Rather, I've chalked it up to personality differences. It's probably linked more to the former, however. I feel trapped in situations where I know I can't just go off by myself and get some quiet. Add in the fact that his parents talk a lot and their house is rather small, and I feel pretty anxious when I'm there.

Even among people I feel totally comfortable with, I get really edgy after a couple of hours in their company. At dinner parties, I'm the first person to volunteer to help with dishes. I absolutely cannot stand sitting around the dinner table for extended periods of time. Thankfully, my husband is one of the few people I can be around for hours on end. It helps, though, that he likes to do his own thing, too, and is not an overly talkative person.

Other "weird" things that I think are linked to being a HSP:

I have a strong urge to touch things, especially clothes, when I'm shopping. I have a strong tactile sense.

I absolutely cannot stand listening to music with headphones. I do, however, like to listen to music somewhat loudly. Go figure.

I cannot stand wearing socks or pajama bottoms to bed. Nothing can be on my legs or feet.

I'm not a very emotional person.....except when other people around me are emotional. Then I lose it. I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).

My eyes water as if I'm crying when hearing or telling a scary story (like a ghost story).

[lph]

I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).

Oh Lord, yes! I can't go to a funeral without a stash of hankies, because there is no way I'm not going to end up bawling with snot running everywhere. A bit embarrassing if I'm not one of the close family or friends. Funny thing is I'm almost as easily moved at happy occasions like weddings, I have to sit and stare out the window and think of something very mundane like dishwashing to not start sniffling at inappropriate moments. Ok, I admit it, it's not sniffling, sniffling would be ok, it's fullblown weeping.

Certain pieces of music can have the same effect. My calm dh just smiles at it all, because he knows I'm pretty down to earth the rest of the time.

Wow. It's kind of reassuring to read that this is a normal sort of thing

[ridenread]

As a therapist who works with children with sensory processing disorders I find this discussion very interesting. Sensory processing issues are very often unrecognized and misunderstood. Yes many people have sensitivities to certain aspects of life... noise, touch ,crowds, lights and still manage to live their day to day lives without incident. We all have our "quirks"

Most people who are "highly sensitive" do not have a disorder.Their nervous system perceives things differently and they learn how to cope. Interestingly many "highly sensitive" people turn to activities such as running and cycling because of the calming benefits it has on their nervous systems.

However there are those that are "disordered" and it can severely impact all aspects of life. There are many people who have spent years in therapy for anxiety, depression, feeling that they do not fit in with other people and just always feeling "different". There are many who try to self medicate with drugs or alcohol.
Sensory "differences" are very real and can be life altering to many.

[shootingstar]

Thx for your perspective ridenread.

[GLC1968]

Other "weird" things that I think are linked to being a HSP:

I have a strong urge to touch things, especially clothes, when I'm shopping. I have a strong tactile sense.

I absolutely cannot stand listening to music with headphones. I do, however, like to listen to music somewhat loudly. Go figure.

I cannot stand wearing socks or pajama bottoms to bed. Nothing can be on my legs or feet.

I'm not a very emotional person.....except when other people around me are emotional. Then I lose it. I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).

My eyes water as if I'm crying when hearing or telling a scary story (like a ghost story).

Ditto to all of this for me, too!

I also cannot sleep if the hair on my legs is too long. TMI, I know...but I would bet it's related to this.

[shootingstar]

Though i don't like being stuck standing in the middle of thousands of people in a crowd (I start getting abit claustrophobic), I wouldn't identify myself as HSP.

Methinks each person does have a certain phobias --small/major/debilitatiing. It's when a major phobia/anxiety/sensitivity impedes what we might want to enjoy doing or affect how we earn our living. But it's good to understand why certain things bug us and we're making an effort to cope with that anxiety.

We're human, after all.

[indysteel]

Ditto to all of this for me, too!

I also cannot sleep if the hair on my legs is too long. TMI, I know...but I would bet it's related to this.

Yep. I have to shave every day because I can barely stand the thought of putting lotion on stubbly legs. Given that I get stubble within 12 hours of shaving, I can't win. Oddly though, I'm not all that ticklish.

I'll add another annoyance. I can't stand the sound of someone chewing. As long as I'm also eating, I'm relatively okay. Otherwise I want to crawl out of my skin.

[indysteel]

Sorry to hog this thread, I'd add that for me, being a HSP does not translate to being "sensitive" in the way that we often use the word in an emotional sense. I don't get my feelings hurt more easily than others. It's more about feeling anxious or overloaded by certain stimuli. In layman terms, I feel kind of "high strung." Most of the time, you likely wouldn't even pick on it as abnormal. If I were to discuss the condition, however, with those who know me best, it would probably go a long way toward explaining some of my quirks. Thankfully, I've never seen any of this as a weakness or fault. It's just who I am. Almost all of it is manageable if I'm aware of my triggers.

[GLC1968]

Sorry to hog this thread, I'd add that for me, being a HSP does not translate to being "sensitive" in the way that we often use the word in an emotional sense. I don't get my feelings hurt more easily than others. It's more about feeling anxious or overloaded by certain stimuli. In layman terms, I feel kind of "high strung." Most of the time, you likely wouldn't even pick on it as abnormal. If I were to discuss the condition, however, with those who know me best, it would probably go a long way toward explaining some of my quirks. Thankfully, I've never seen any of this as a weakness or fault. It's just who I am. Almost all of it is manageable if I'm aware of my triggers.

Again, ditto.

In fact, most people I know write off my little quirks as part of my 'type A' personality. Funny thing is, I have never really thought of myself as a true type A at all.

[OakLeaf]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

[GLC1968]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

Actually, no...no medication. It's not something that you 'cure' except maybe in very severe cases. It's really just a classification that helps those of us who have it validate something we've been dealing with for years.

It's like learning that you aren't the only person in the world who thinks that cilantro tastes like soap.

Not earth-shattering, but certainly nice to know that you aren't alone.

[PamNY]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

Have you been in a bookstore lately? These things nearly always mean someone has written a book -- and that's true in this case. I don't think that's bad, necessarily, but it's certainly predictable.

[indysteel]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

I understand where you're coming from, but I think that's overly dismissive. No one has ever tried to suggest medication for me, nor was it suggested to me as a "diagnosis." Rather, my therapist thought it was both a plausible and helpful explanation for a long list of behaviors and anxieties that were negatively impacting my life. So much made sense after I learned more about HSP. Plus, it did offer me some comfort to know that I wasn't just some oddity. With or without a formal name, it still comes down to learning better coping strategies and doing my best to avoid certain triggers.

[Jolt]

I checked out the quiz and quite a few of those things describe me--mainly the ones dealing with sounds, chaotic environments and having to do too many things at once. Also, sometimes I do just need to have some peace and quiet away from people--not in a darkened room though; a nice trail run usually does quite nicely (maybe that's my way of getting rid of pent-up energy/stress). Sights and smells don't bother me so much but being in crowded, chaotic or noisy situations makes me crazy! (Ask my best friend who has been to NYC with me a couple of times--she's about the calmest most easygoing person ever and I was driving HER crazy because I was so stressed out from being on total overload!! NYC is just not a good place for me--Boston I can handle.) One big pet peeve is when more than one person tries to talk to me at one time--I have to stop them and tell them I can only listen to one person at a time. I do feel like today's society expects way too much as far as multitasking--some of us find it much easier and more efficient to focus on one or two things at a time and I don't think that means there's anything wrong with us. I think there's something wrong with expecting everyone to be able to juggle a gazillion different tasks!

[Crankin]

Just as I thought, I am not highly sensitive, though I have a couple of these traits. I was quiet as a young child (hard to believe) and people thought I was really shy. Then, all of a sudden, when I was around 8-9 I became outgoing.
The only thing I have, that's "overly sensitive" is related to allergies/asthma. I have the skin thing, where I can't stand the feel of labels, seams, certain materials. It's kind of cyclical. Some days it won't bother me, but other days... I can only wear what I call my "cozy" feeling clothing. It will get to the point that I will get welts, or little red bumps, or just feel totally uncomfortable.
I remember being about ten years old and telling my mom I couldn't wear a pair of pajamas she bought me because the seams were "itchy." She just couldn't understand, took the pants, ripped them in half and threw them away .
I think I was carrying on a little bit.