highly sensitive person

[shootingstar]

Like you saying "being shy", it's one of the terms that have been wrongly labeled for us sensitive lots, it's not that we're really shy (I'm sure some are), some are extraverted. I think we tend to internalize a lot of things, need to think things through, look at the "big picture", and then do it. I'm certainly not rash and often need to "think about it/sleep on it" before making any decisions because I want to think of all the scenarios that go along with it.

It's not a bad thing, speaking from a survival point of view, it's a great trait to have, but it's not always the best way to get by in this busy, overly stimulating world we live in.

One example might be what so-called "shy" types that simply enjoy cycling alone alot of the time. In fact, I kind of wonder about cyclists who absolutely need to cycle with at least 1 other person most of the time. It actually puzzles me abit..but ok. Whatever works.

Yet the sociable, gregarious/noisy cycling pack types might see the hermity, shy-looking cycling folks as just avoiding friendly informal group cycling semi-competitive packs to become more 'fit', etc. You know what I mean...

My partner and I joke with one another that we are well-matched: we understand each other because he and I are each, friendly-lone wolf type of people. We like good company of others around us, but think about alot of stuff which makes each of us appear quiet and distant.

I know he is physiologically sensitive to certain things --some of it when the public health care conditions were poor during WWII when he was baby/very young in Germany which made him sick often and with sensitivties etc. even now.

[indysteel]

It's actually been a while since I've given my likely status as an HSP much thought as it relates to certain issues in my life so this thread is a good reminder for me.

For instance, since meeting my now husband, I've totally bristled at spending time with his parents either in their house or their RV. I haven't analyzed that issue in terms of being a HSP. Rather, I've chalked it up to personality differences. It's probably linked more to the former, however. I feel trapped in situations where I know I can't just go off by myself and get some quiet. Add in the fact that his parents talk a lot and their house is rather small, and I feel pretty anxious when I'm there.

Even among people I feel totally comfortable with, I get really edgy after a couple of hours in their company. At dinner parties, I'm the first person to volunteer to help with dishes. I absolutely cannot stand sitting around the dinner table for extended periods of time. Thankfully, my husband is one of the few people I can be around for hours on end. It helps, though, that he likes to do his own thing, too, and is not an overly talkative person.

Other "weird" things that I think are linked to being a HSP:

I have a strong urge to touch things, especially clothes, when I'm shopping. I have a strong tactile sense.

I absolutely cannot stand listening to music with headphones. I do, however, like to listen to music somewhat loudly. Go figure.

I cannot stand wearing socks or pajama bottoms to bed. Nothing can be on my legs or feet.

I'm not a very emotional person.....except when other people around me are emotional. Then I lose it. I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).

My eyes water as if I'm crying when hearing or telling a scary story (like a ghost story).

[lph]

I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).

Oh Lord, yes! I can't go to a funeral without a stash of hankies, because there is no way I'm not going to end up bawling with snot running everywhere. A bit embarrassing if I'm not one of the close family or friends. Funny thing is I'm almost as easily moved at happy occasions like weddings, I have to sit and stare out the window and think of something very mundane like dishwashing to not start sniffling at inappropriate moments. Ok, I admit it, it's not sniffling, sniffling would be ok, it's fullblown weeping.

Certain pieces of music can have the same effect. My calm dh just smiles at it all, because he knows I'm pretty down to earth the rest of the time.

Wow. It's kind of reassuring to read that this is a normal sort of thing

[ridenread]

As a therapist who works with children with sensory processing disorders I find this discussion very interesting. Sensory processing issues are very often unrecognized and misunderstood. Yes many people have sensitivities to certain aspects of life... noise, touch ,crowds, lights and still manage to live their day to day lives without incident. We all have our "quirks"

Most people who are "highly sensitive" do not have a disorder.Their nervous system perceives things differently and they learn how to cope. Interestingly many "highly sensitive" people turn to activities such as running and cycling because of the calming benefits it has on their nervous systems.

However there are those that are "disordered" and it can severely impact all aspects of life. There are many people who have spent years in therapy for anxiety, depression, feeling that they do not fit in with other people and just always feeling "different". There are many who try to self medicate with drugs or alcohol.
Sensory "differences" are very real and can be life altering to many.

[shootingstar]

Thx for your perspective ridenread.

[GLC1968]

Other "weird" things that I think are linked to being a HSP:

I have a strong urge to touch things, especially clothes, when I'm shopping. I have a strong tactile sense.

I absolutely cannot stand listening to music with headphones. I do, however, like to listen to music somewhat loudly. Go figure.

I cannot stand wearing socks or pajama bottoms to bed. Nothing can be on my legs or feet.

I'm not a very emotional person.....except when other people around me are emotional. Then I lose it. I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).

My eyes water as if I'm crying when hearing or telling a scary story (like a ghost story).

Ditto to all of this for me, too!

I also cannot sleep if the hair on my legs is too long. TMI, I know...but I would bet it's related to this.

[shootingstar]

Though i don't like being stuck standing in the middle of thousands of people in a crowd (I start getting abit claustrophobic), I wouldn't identify myself as HSP.

Methinks each person does have a certain phobias --small/major/debilitatiing. It's when a major phobia/anxiety/sensitivity impedes what we might want to enjoy doing or affect how we earn our living. But it's good to understand why certain things bug us and we're making an effort to cope with that anxiety.

We're human, after all.

[indysteel]

Ditto to all of this for me, too!

I also cannot sleep if the hair on my legs is too long. TMI, I know...but I would bet it's related to this.

Yep. I have to shave every day because I can barely stand the thought of putting lotion on stubbly legs. Given that I get stubble within 12 hours of shaving, I can't win. Oddly though, I'm not all that ticklish.

I'll add another annoyance. I can't stand the sound of someone chewing. As long as I'm also eating, I'm relatively okay. Otherwise I want to crawl out of my skin.

[indysteel]

Sorry to hog this thread, I'd add that for me, being a HSP does not translate to being "sensitive" in the way that we often use the word in an emotional sense. I don't get my feelings hurt more easily than others. It's more about feeling anxious or overloaded by certain stimuli. In layman terms, I feel kind of "high strung." Most of the time, you likely wouldn't even pick on it as abnormal. If I were to discuss the condition, however, with those who know me best, it would probably go a long way toward explaining some of my quirks. Thankfully, I've never seen any of this as a weakness or fault. It's just who I am. Almost all of it is manageable if I'm aware of my triggers.

[GLC1968]

Sorry to hog this thread, I'd add that for me, being a HSP does not translate to being "sensitive" in the way that we often use the word in an emotional sense. I don't get my feelings hurt more easily than others. It's more about feeling anxious or overloaded by certain stimuli. In layman terms, I feel kind of "high strung." Most of the time, you likely wouldn't even pick on it as abnormal. If I were to discuss the condition, however, with those who know me best, it would probably go a long way toward explaining some of my quirks. Thankfully, I've never seen any of this as a weakness or fault. It's just who I am. Almost all of it is manageable if I'm aware of my triggers.

Again, ditto.

In fact, most people I know write off my little quirks as part of my 'type A' personality. Funny thing is, I have never really thought of myself as a true type A at all.

[OakLeaf]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

[Crankin]

Just as I thought, I am not highly sensitive, though I have a couple of these traits. I was quiet as a young child (hard to believe) and people thought I was really shy. Then, all of a sudden, when I was around 8-9 I became outgoing.
The only thing I have, that's "overly sensitive" is related to allergies/asthma. I have the skin thing, where I can't stand the feel of labels, seams, certain materials. It's kind of cyclical. Some days it won't bother me, but other days... I can only wear what I call my "cozy" feeling clothing. It will get to the point that I will get welts, or little red bumps, or just feel totally uncomfortable.
I remember being about ten years old and telling my mom I couldn't wear a pair of pajamas she bought me because the seams were "itchy." She just couldn't understand, took the pants, ripped them in half and threw them away .
I think I was carrying on a little bit.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Ok, I have to say this- a lot of what is being described as 'highly sensitive' here are things that I just think of as normal.

Since when did needing to be alone sometimes, crying at sad things, an aversion to loud noises, glaring lights, relentless music, crowded situations, and strong unpleasant odors... become 'highly sensitive' traits? If you ask me (which admittedly no one has, lol) people who are not affected by such things are 'highly desensitized'!

I cry at weddings and at strangers' funerals too. I also love to laugh (but not at funerals).

[GLC1968]

Since when did needing to be alone sometimes, crying at sad things, an aversion to loud noises, glaring lights, relentless music, crowded situations, and strong unpleasant odors... become 'overly sensitive' traits? If you ask me (which admittedly no one has, lol) people who are not affected by such things are 'overly desensitized'!

I think this is partially true. According to the Wiki info - 1/5 of the population is HSP...that's a pretty major chunk!

I think the problem is that in today's society, there is a benefit to being overly desensitized and often times HSP's have a harder time than they should (or maybe than they did in the past). I would bet that it's even more difficult for children today than it was when most of us were kids what with all of the constant stimulation out there! Multi-tasking used to be a desirable trait - now it's a societal requirement. And don't even get me started on crowds...

By the way, I scored a 25 on the HSP test. I don't think I'm highly sensitive to caffeine or to pain...so those were the only two things I didn't check. Unreal. I had no idea that there was a name for this or that all of these little 'quirks' of mine could be tied together under one relationship. Interesting!

[lph]

Bleecker, the point is that it's not "overly" sensitive, implying something wrong or abnormal, it's highly sensitive, meaning the upper end of the scale but still normal. And if you register on the high end of the scale for many different sensory inputs where most other people do not, you are probably in this sub-group.