Quote Originally Posted by bcipam
Maybe its my age, but I am a true believer of old fashion notions of a marriage. I expect a husband to honor, cherish and protect and I expect the wife to respect, support and obey (I don't mean as a servant, but don't be inpertient, disrepectful).

A marriage must be a true partnership to work but sometimes that means one must give up their own goals and aspirations to support those of the spouse. If both are trying to suceed on their own, there is little room to support the other. Of course, every marriage is different and what works for one doesn't work for another. I don't understand where the notion came from that a woman cannot be respected if she chooses to be a mother and keep a good house as oppose to have a career and leave the children with a nanny or at day care. Can't think of a more important job that either spouse can take. God bless the stay at home moms (and dads) out there!!!

Now at my age I don't plan on having a family so I can pursue my career but I would and have put my husband ( or boyfriend) first. But that's just me.

I don't really understand why we have different traits. I think men and women, men and men and women and women in any relationship both have to love, honor, cherish, protect, respect, support (sorry, don't like "obey", it was taken out of my marriage vows). I don't see why there are different traits, I believe we bring these mutually human gifts to relationships, independent of gender. I do believe men and women are different, but I can't generalize. I have also met (many) very emotional men, so I believe it's a matter of finding the person who complements you, and vice-versa. So whether that other person you are looking for is a man or woman, you seek the person who fulfills and lives up to those values and traits that are most important to you. I don't believe you give up your goals and aspirations, I believe you compromise to support each other in meeting those goals and aspirations. It may mean I put things on hold while HB goes to school, or he brings home the paycheck while I take a 3 month sabbatical. It's all unique, but it is definitely a compromise.

I am not a strong believer in the traditional definitions...I believe in the interpretation you as a person bring to a relationship, without having to fulfill a "time-honored" ideal. If you want to be a traditional wife, great. If you want to stay home with kids, great. If my HB stays home with the kids instead and I work, also great. That's the thing about a more modern age - it's getting more accepted. And dare I say it -- about the US, after living in EU, there is more snubbing of non-traditional relationships in some places here. It's just kept quiet. They may tolerate but they don't like it, and often don't talk about it. Not that the ole USA is perfect ....

Enough rambling ... my 2 cents worth for the day...