Maybe you're putting too much focus on what it is to be "a cyclist" and not enough emphasis on just loving cycling. I don't really focus on what people think I should be. If I have fun on my bike, use it for utility, or just ride around on a trail, I'm a cyclist. I ride with people who are faster/slower/and at the same level as me. Sometimes we even go the same pace
just for the joy of each others company. Keep riding. Who cares how fast others can go? I don't. I ride the pace that suits me, if I improve great. If I don't I still love to ride. How can I go wrong?
Best wishes.
"Things look different from the seat of a bike carrying a sleeping bag with a cold beer tucked inside." ~Jim Malusa
2009 Trek 520-Brooks B-17 Special in Antique Brown
2010 Surly Long Haul Trucker-Brooks B-17 Standard in Black
1983 Fuji Espree Single Speed-Brooks B17 British Racing Green