Cycling goals ruining friendship

[Crankin]

I have to say I agree with everyone, including Shootingstar. Two things struck me. One, I am Sarah. I am not training, but I choose riding buddies carefully, because if they drop me, I get mad and frustrated. I've been known to cry during rides because of this. I don't need the breaks, but I now know who I can ride with and still feel good about myself. It's a constant battle between accepting the fact that I have become a little slower and the fact that I am fitter than 95% of people my age. I'm comparing myself with you guys! Yet, seeing someone whom I think I can drop gets me angry enough to try once in awhile. Frankly most of the time, I just ride alone or with my DH or with our friends. My closest riding friends (women) are both much, much slower than me. My rides with them are just as enjoyable. I just wait at the top of a hill. DH rides at my speed when he is with me; if he has the urge to go "faster" than he can go alone. I don't enjoy constantly trying to catch him, or being alone on a ride where we are supposed to be together.
The part about her getting mad is just immature. She needs to accept her level of skill and find people who are at that level.

[Skierchickie]

I can relate pretty well with what lph said - been there.

As hard as it is, I think you'll have to just stand up for your "me" time, if you are committed to your goals. She's made this harder for you, by pre-scheduling your life for you. Fortunately, if this is turning into a regular group outing, you may be able to ease out of it easier than if it were just the two of you. Maybe you can try to meet them once a week, and use it as a recovery day, without coming across as saying "you're too slow". Hopefully, if your friend is getting other people involved, the pressure will be lifted from you.

Personally, I think driving time that eats into valuable riding time is grounds to say "Thanks, but I can't make it". I'm a poor one to talk - I have several friends who like to ski/bike/run in groups, and I prefer to be alone, or with one other person at a time - not in a group. I end up trying to avoid them sometimes, because I'd just rather be alone. I really like them all, and have fun with them, but something in my wiring makes me avoid groups.

Good luck. You are in a sticky situation. Tangentgirl is absolutely correct.