As a cop, I became a total germaphobe a la Monk. People would hand me their driver's license and I would think...gross. But here is the cake....

I was driving northbound on patrol, saw a truck heading southbound...three shoes came flying out of the truck (yes, three, I found the fourth in the truck later). I turned around on the truck and finally got it pulled over in the parking lot of the high school...it was lunchtime and the kid was going back. We went through the rigamarole as to why he was throwing his shoes out the window (never really found out)...in the end, the kid was 18 and had a warrant out for burglary of a hab. So I hooked him up, searched him (went through his pockets and exterior garments, removed the items from his jacket, etc.) and stuck him in my car. I searched the vehicle incident to arrest and went through his personal effects as he told me he had a pipe in there. Found the pipe, touched the pipe. Finally transported the kid to the jail, helped him out of the car (touching his arm), searched him again in the jail, unhandcuffed him, put my cuffs back in my cuff case (I always wipe them off), and released him to the jailer. He sat down on the bench and started to answer the jailers routine book in questions while I sat down to type out my paperwork...I was listening only out of one ear. When the jailer asked if he had any communicable diseases, he stated he had, "full body herpes." I about left my seat. I don't even know what "full body herpes" is, but it didn't sound good. "Dude, whatever," I said, "you think you might have told me that when I was searching you?" He says, "well, you didn't ask" (I have to remind myself that a) he was throwing shoes out of his vehicle in the first place, b) he is 18, and c) a criminal. I had to go take a Karen Silkwood shower.....I found out later that he meant "shingles." Gross anyway. I got the lecture about wearing gloves when searching someone. Blech.