i just read this thread. roxy i was on anti depressants for years and years and they didn't work for me in fact they made me worse but they do work wonders for some people. my therapist recently read a book called the mood cure and it is about supplements and things that can help some people instead of anti depressants. i have tried some of them and they work for me they work a lot better than anti depressants ever did for me. so maybe that would be worth looking into? are you in therapy for the depression and thoughts? i didn't read every word of the thread i'm watching my son at the moment. therapy has helped me more than supplements or medications and i think for a lot of people it is the only lasting cure.

i really hope you can find some exercise that works for you or can get back on the bike at some point. riding a bike is really one of the most important things for my emotional health and i can't imagine losing that. ((((((roxy)))))

i really hope that you can get the money to pay for everything and more than that i really hope you can get some peace and feel better really soon.