Yeah, tactics are the hardest part of bike racing. The fittest and strongest and/or those with the snazziest bike frequently don't win races. It's one thing if you are so strong, comparatively, that you can just ride away from everyone, but most of us aren't so lucky .

If you put in a good attack one weekend, then yeah, it makes sense that the women aren't going to let you get away so easily from now on. I enjoy attacking in races. I am not a strong sprinter, but I can TT decently, so I attack, attack, attack. I am searching for that break that sticks. My regular competitors realize this about me and generally aren't going to let me get away with it. The best chance I have is to attack with someone from a better-represented team than mine and let her teammates do some field control for me. Also, in the lower category races (if you have any 4 only or 3/4 races), all attacks are typically chased down no matter how big of a threat the attacker is. So, keep that in mind.

Try some bikes in your price range in different geometries. Don't worry about the components too much when you test ride, though give SRAM and the best Shimano you can afford a try. Once you have an idea of what fits and what components you like, then start putting together your short list of options (full bike, frame + parts, etc.). Also check on your shop's fitting policies. Sometimes, when the bike is new you can do a swap out on things like stem and bars and just pay the difference in price (if any). They ought to throw in at least a basic fit with your bike purchase.

Does your team have any relationship with a shop or a bike manufacturer? Look into that and see if you can use that to your advantage. For example, is there one night in the season where you can order things near cost or at deep discount from your shop? Can you get a deal on a certain bike for the team?