Topic I've Avoided

[channlluv]

That did take courage.

I feel the same way every time I'm in a gathering and there's cake or something. I always wonder if people are looking at me thinking, why is she eating that. No wonder she's so fat.

I can tell you that I feel a lot better when I'm riding or swimming, and that I exercise alone because my friends who ride or swim go a lot faster than I, and to work out with me would compromise their own training - I'd be imposing my lower fitness level on them. As I get stronger, I'll join more group rides, but for now, I train alone.

I also eat alone most of the time, and like you can't hide the smell of smoke on your clothes, my overeating shows up in my size 20 jeans and 2X shirts. I imagine we're both paying the physical price in performance.

My weakness lately is potato chips. Someone brought these really delicious salt and pepper rough cut chips to a luncheon at work a couple of months ago and I made the mistake of trying them. It had been years since I'd eaten chips before that. I wish I could still say that.

I wish you well in your training and your efforts to quit smoking.

Roxy

[Mickey]

All that ever worked for me was getting preggers...each time I quit for 3 years, then one day realized that I was smoking again without even being able to pin point exactly when I started buying them again. My youngest is almost two...which means we're getting close to that 3 year mark, so I'm trying to stay hyper-aware...there's no way I'm having more kids, so if I start again I'm done for - wish ME luck!

Seriously, there's 9 years between my last two, so I was a serious 2 pack a day smoker with this last time quitting - and pg or not, it was HARD! You sound kinda like I'd felt - I'm smart, always led a bit of an extra-healthy lifestyle on all other fronts, absolutely hated the idea of my kids smoking, and my cute new husband is terribly asthmatic and HATES smoking, none of my friends smoke or can even stand smoking...but, even with all these good reasons, I just couldn't get myself to really care - I really enjoyed my cigarettes. Even now the smell of a cig makes me want to puke...and there's still part of me that considers asking the smoker if I can just have one little drag.

I'm not a 'baby-steps' kinda person - for me it really helped to change EVERYTHING at once - the same has also been true for anytime I've dieted, but I think it was more important with smoking...be as active as possible, don't do the things you strongly associate with smoking for 2wks or a month (for me it was going out for coffee, going to the bar, long car rides alone or anything that sets off my social anxiety - that's still my hardest time, lotsa people really makes me wish for an excuse to just 'step outside' for a bit), and especially don't let yourself get bored! What also helped me was to make a poster of people who looked like the kind of person I liked to see myself as one of...athletes, granola girls, healthy moms, etc - I would look at it and remember that I couldn't picture any of them smoking, and for some reason that helped too.

Good luck - it's hard and it definitely gets worse before it gets better. If you want to feel you're not alone, find a copy of Garrison Keillor's 'End of the Trail' about the last smokers in America, hiding in a box canyon... definitely a great read (or a better listen if you can find an audio version of it)!

[tangentgirl]

I have to chime in on the Chantix. Be very very careful if you take that sh*t. I know someone who had the bad mental side effects. He became agressive, started getting arrested, literally lost everything. It was like he was on meth, but he wasn't. The guy went from engineer to homeless in the space of about a year. This is someone I know personally, who I see a few times a year.

Of course this probably isn't the usual case for Chantix, but if you do go that route, make sure you don't have any earlier depression or other issues, make sure that you follow all the directions, don't drink on it if that's what they say, make sure if you start feeling *crazy* that you work with a doc and get off of it. It's a very powerful drug.

[Zen]

Those are not side effects of Chantix.
Something else is going on there.

[Crankin]

Actually, there are documented side effects of Chantix, similar as described above. They usually occur in people who have already been battling depression or anxiety. It is not prescribed in some cases, to people with that history.
A doc from MGH came to my clinic to pitch participation in a stop smoking study to the clients. They are trying to figure out why so many people with mental illness, especially schizophrenia, smoke. The study uses Chantix, and she addressed this issue. She said that were a bunch of cases of these side effects when the drug first came out, but now, not so much.
But still, it's a caution.
I still remember when my mom quit cold turkey, when I was in 6th grade. It was ugly. She started smoking again, about ten years later, but she did quit, cold turkey, again eventually. My dad, on the other hand, is about to turn 85, and has smoked for like 60 years. He hides it now, though. He had one mild heart attack, 2 years ago, but other than that, his lungs are fine.

[Norse]

I smoked for 11 years and it took several, repeated efforts at quitting before it finally stuck. A neighbor, a nurse who knew of my repeated failed efforts, said "I have one word for you: toothpicks." That oral fixation thing is so real! Also, when the time came, rather than going cold turkey I gradually decreased the intake over a one month period. So, day one, I had a pack, day two, one less ... until I had one on the last day and that was it. The first couple of weeks, the inside of my mouth was actually sort of cut up because, having a nicotine fit, I would end up chewing the crap out of the toothpicks, but they really did help. To this day, almost 15 years later, I still carry toothpicks in the car and use them around the house. Quitting was harder than hell but soooooooooooo worth it. I just watched my dad die a painful death at a relatively young age due to lung cancer last summer.

Good luck to you!

[Catrin]

Good luck to you on this good effort. I smoked, heavily, for about 20 years and I "quit" many times before I was actually ready to quit. Basically my asthma gave me a choice - smoke or breath.... It is sad that I had to get so bad to be able to quit, but I finally succeeded back in the early 90's. Every time I wanted a smoke I forced myself to think of things that I could do better/easier if I wasn't smoking...it did help.

Hang in there. It is your choice about the medication, I don't know much about that. It seems that everything has so many side-effects that I make it my practice to avoid such things as much as possible but sometimes they are necessary.

[mirliluck]

white rice with loads of butter and salt especially when I have just finished cooking, followed by graham crackers slathered with peanut butter. all fat, salt and nothing healthy.

What? No way, peanut butter is good fat and way healthy (ok, in moderation).

But I agree that while nicotine is not a struggle I have, I do have my own as we all have something, maybe nicotine is just more stigmatized. Kudos to backinthesaddle for having the courage to discuss and address it.

[Melalvai]

I don't like smoke, but there's lots worse things you can do than smoke a cigarette even in a public place.

Like text & drive. Drive distracted. Drive sleepy. Drive recklessly.

Now if you admit to doing those things I'll get judgmental. Until then, good luck on kicking a bad habit, but if you fail, I'll just be disappointed FOR you, not disappointed IN you. And I might look for the non-smoking section, but don't take it personally.

[artifactos]

My immediate family is full of addictions, and I'm happy to see you admit yours and have a plan to overcome it.

My father was a smoker and an alcoholic. My little sister is a heroin addict and a smoker. My mother gambles.

I've wondered what my addiction will be, or if I will have one. Maybe I'm addicted to exercise? The internet? I don't think I have a tendency toward addiction, because it has always been very easy to take a break from something I become heavily involved in. If I'm not feeling good, I take a few days off from exercising. If I'm busy, I don't touch my computer for a few days.

Maybe self awareness helps me overcome the tendency toward addiction? Hopefully your cycling and other fitness goals will help you overcome your addiction and replace it with a more healthy lifestyle!

[arielmoon]

I admit I can be one of those judgey people... It's one thing to have smoked when I was growing up (I smoked on and off in high school but was never addicted) when there weren't so many known risks of smoking and of second hand smoke.

Today, I really have a hard time seeing young people smoke. The worst though, is people smoking around children. It boggles my mind to see someone smoking in a car with kids in it. It really gets my blood boiling!

/rant

So you have been smoking a while and that does make it harder to quit. From what I know, most of it is about replacing the habit with another one. Hopefully a healthy one. Not like gastric bypass patients who become alcoholics. Meep.

How about saying to yourself "I will do this incredibly healthy thing for myself today because I deserve it!!" Instead of thinking "I wont smoke today."

Even if you fall off the wagon, tomorrow is another day to try again.

I think the fact that you have come here and owned it is a step in the right direction. Maybe you werent ready before and you are now!

Best of luck to you!

[BeeLady]

I smoked for 25 or so years - two packs a day. My most recent (I never say last) cigarette was about 22 years ago.

I made a 3 lists: everyone I knew that had quit smoking and seemed able to cope without cigarettes; the benefits of quitting; and the consequences of continuing to smoke.

Then I memorized the following and used these lines regularly:

Smoking a cigarette to stop an urge to smoke will only create another urge.

I'd like to smoke a cigarette; the choice is up to me. But I want and deserve the benefits so for now I choose not to smoke.

(I paid $600 for a non-smoking course for this stuff).

Anyway good luck. And better to be a smoker who exercises than a smoker who is a couch potato.

[Bike Chick]

I smoked for 25 years. I quit several times only to start again later. I was also a closet smoker for years. I finally kicked the nasty habit 6 years ago and bought a bicycle to help me keep the weight off. Little did I know how addicted I would get to the bicycle! I traded an unhealthy habit for a healthy one. Six years later I'm no longer smoking but I'm still bicycling and hope to for the rest of my life!

[nancielle]

Good luck on quitting. Been there, done that. If you haven't already done so, you might want to check out the NY State quit site http://www.nysmokefree.com/ for some additional support.

[Zen]

I don't think some (not all) of these comments from non smokers add to the conversation. Bad direction for a drift.