To be or not to be - gray

[Dogmama]

I've decided to NOT be gray. Now, I just need to find a decent stylist in Tucson who can color color-resistant gray hair. I've been to a couple of places for color (when I had only a few strands) and the gray wasn't covered. This gray is bright, silver, shiny & yells "look at me!"

Any advice is welcome.

[footloose]

I haven't had to make the decision on whether to have any gray or not....haven't seen any gray hair yet. I'm 48 and have very long dark blond/brown hair. It had red highlights when I was young but they became blond as I got older.
I've always worked outdoors and have always loved the blond highlights I get in the summer. But as jobs changed, I began always having to wear a hard hat or a company ball cap and on my own time I still am always wearing a cap, a motorcycle helmet or a bike helmet. So I began to not have so many natural highlights and also hated the mousy brown it would go in the winter.
So this winter for the first time, I got highlights at the hairdresser. I really like them but now of course I have to keep it up. They are natural looking enough that there isn't a huge root difference when it's growing out.

I really think the blond highlights brighten my face in the winter and they do make me look younger. People often mention I don't look my age.

My age is not something I personally spend a lot of time thinking about but I am realistic about how some people perceive age and how capable they think you are because of it.
I did NOT let anyone know my age at the utility company I work for until I had been there for over a year. Management knew of course as soon as I filled out the papers to sign on for the job but the men I work with didn't know at first. I was already a small sized woman starting in a "non traditional" position as a gasfitter where there had never been one before...they didn't need to know I was middle aged too!

[shootingstar]

I did NOT let anyone know my age at the utility company I work for until I had been there for over a year. Management knew of course as soon as I filled out the papers to sign on for the job but the men I work with didn't know at first. I was already a small sized woman starting in a "non traditional" position as a gasfitter where there had never been one before...they didn't need to know I was middle aged too!

I worked at for an engineering firm at a construction site for a few years. I noticed that in fact at least among the men I worked with and saw often, if a woman was small, but "mature" in age, or not too young/teenage looking, she would get more respect.

This assumes that the woman carries herself well, speaks firmly, etc.
Of course, a number of these women wore hardhats for safety reasons, so the whole coloured hair thing just was not as big of a deal. It becomes meaningless when wind blows around, sand flying around and then it rains. Everyone else is tired, ....who really notices?? Everyone tends to notice a tough worker slogging outdoors in terrible weather, not the hair colour.

[Hairfixr]

Regarding : Dogmama request for advice ~

Finding a professional hair colorist.

There are two ways to address wearing hair color.

Corrective and or Creative:

1st - - - Corrective - is to cover grey to match wearers pre-grey shade and tone. This is the hardest part about hair color. Natural hair color is "also" a combination of many different minerals imbedded with in the hair Add lifestyle sun exposure - so - what is the clients natural shade? It is very hard to find a professional hair colorist these days that even do the "corrective" service any longer. Why - It's tedious as walking on thin ice as the client usually wants the shade/tone value to be that of years past. With that said - expect the color service to be close, not exact for the first few visits. Once the color formulas have been fine tuned and recorded in your client file, only then consistency can be expected. Note: - The professional demi-permanent color products are preferred for this service as they fade slower on tone than semi-permanent "semi's". The retail semi's rarely fade on tone hence the reason professional hair color "product cost" is usually three to four times more than a retail product. Note: the graying can add to the highlighting effect and depth of tone when done properly. So all is not in vain - the gray becomes an asset instead of a liability

My hat is off to MickChick who has alighned herself with a Professional hair colorist - you go girl. Life becomes simpler when your hair colorist makes all the varible decisions of color formulations.

Lady's - just so you know - I don't have a problem with home do it yourself methods "DIY"- some of you do it quite well. However - if your fighting it - go to a Professional.

2nd - - - Creative hair color "weaving", color shade change, highlight, lowlight panels, etc." is what most color clients ask for today. "For most" they prefer not to have the same color/tone they used to have. It wouldn't look natural on them any way as even Asian hair lifts from blue black to brown black warm tone with age. Skin tones change hence the hair color tone should be adjusted accordingly. A true professional colorist knows this - it is a part of their advanced training. This should be "the clue" Ladies - use only season hair colorist (No room for Rookies) here - Ya hear



How to find a seasoned hair colorist - - check the paper yellow pages and or internet web sites that say they specialize in hair color. The best way is to simply asks some one who has "the look" your interested in. It is a complement to the wearer that she has been noticed. They will always be happy to refer their stylist. Be patient a few visits to get what your expectations are. From client to client, hair doesn't respond consistently. The hair colorist is dealing with the unknown when first dealing with your locks. You have brought a lot of unknown baggage with you that the colorist will have to do a CSI on. Example: - iron buildup in hair is the number one cause of a fresh highlight going too warm in tone. The chemical reaction causes the iron to turn to rust with in the hair. This is just one of the challenges a professional faces with a first time client. They have access to clarifiers that remove unwanted trace elements. Most Pros will do this clarifying treatment on their clients before every color service.

Hope this helps with "the hunt" for a professional hair colorist.

Hair Fixr ~

[lph]

Example: - iron buildup in hair is the number one cause of a fresh highlight going too warm in tone. The chemical reaction causes the iron to turn to rust with in the hair.

Wow. I learn the most amazing things on this forum. Thanks for a fascinating post

[shootingstar]

Was wondering how hair acquires iron buildup over time.

[Dogmama]

Wow - thanks for all of the information! I had been going to a stylist who colored my hair 4-5 times but was never able to cover those silver/gray "shooters". That's why I'm looking for somebody else. I have a bead on one person, so we'll see. She's been a stylist for a long time & has a big following. From what you've said, my wishes aren't for rookies because I do want subtle highlights & lowlights. Flat brown is too aging.

I don't mind paying for service. The stylist I saw would charge ~$160 for a cut & color ($60 for the cut & $100 for the color - but as I said - I ask for a lot.) But, I do expect to have those little nasty hairs colored, especially after five tries. I understand that some gray is "color resistant" but can't that be overcome with an H-bomb of color?

[Selkie]

I've decided to NOT be gray. Now, I just need to find a decent stylist in Tucson who can color color-resistant gray hair. I've been to a couple of places for color (when I had only a few strands) and the gray wasn't covered. This gray is bright, silver, shiny & yells "look at me!"

Any advice is welcome.

Dogmama -- your silver sounds exactly the same as mine. It's white, sparkly and bright. :-) My stylist uses Goldwell color on mine and it covers the silver. Doesn't fade between appts, either, and she usually does only the roots because the color stays true (eventually, the pool chlorine necessitates her having to pull the color through to the ends for ~5-10 mins, but it's maybe every third appt). I have a single-process color, and the Goldwell must be good because I have red hair, which apparently is a hard keeper. Make sure you use a shampoo for color treated hair (I like the Frederick Fekkai color shampoo).

[Selkie]

I just want to celebrate the fact that I have found myself a local version of Hairfixr! Not only is this new stylist excellent at cutting hair, she gave me a gorgeous color (a more vivid red that looks natural). She actually cut my hair to make the most of my hair's assets---i.e., wavy curls---while keeping in mind the fact that I am a wash-and-go kinda gal. The salon is very professional---all the stylists and the owner work, don't gossip---and the place is clean/pleasant. In addition, it's located within walking distance of my house.

My final appointment at my old salon was very disturbing. I won't get into the details but it's been a long time since I've been treated like crap by a service provider (particularly someone whom I've been patronizing for more than a year and whom I tip very generously).

[Bike Chick]

Good for you, MickChick! I'm tired of the local shop experience too and the fact that I have no "style." I want something that is attractive and flattering no matter if it is styled or not (ie after removing the bike helmet or running 5 miles). I have an appointment Wednesday and hope I have the same experience.

An old buddy from high school has become a very successful stylist with 2 upscale salons a couple hours from me. He has begged me to come see him and let him cut my hair. (BTW, my gray drives him nuts.) I took the day off this Wednesday and am going to spend the afternoon at his salon. I'm excited about getting a new style but I have told him the gray stays. I'll keep you posted on the outcome.

[Selkie]

Several years ago, I used to drive an hour to have my hair colored by one of the best colorists I've ever had do my hair. I considered this person a friend and she really cared about making me look good. Luckily, the stylists there were all great, too, so my cuts were nice, too. The colorist moved about 50 miles away, which was just too far for me. I still miss her and on many occasion, I wish I hadn't lost touch w/her. I consider myself very fortunate to have found this new stylist.

My point is that sometimes, it's simply worth the drive....

Good Luck!! I'm sure you'lll look gorgeous---take a risk and let him color your hair! It'll keep you going back to him. ;-)

[Dogmama]

Thought I found somebody who could do color. She gave me a gorgeous butterscotch/brown color that fit my facial coloring perfectly. Within two weeks, it turned red. And I'm using good shampoo & conditioner (Pureology) tepid water, etc. Maybe I'll just dye it black, get me a broom, pointed hat & a cauldron. I already have the black cat.

[Selkie]

Dogmama, call her and tell her what happened. I bet she will fix it, gratis.

[softthings]

@ dogmama +1 to what mickchick said. as a hairstylist, we almost always will fix stuff like that for free. sometimes you just can predict how hair is going to hold on to a color. especially if you are going light to dark and especially on gray. gray is just a resistant hair texture sometimes. annoying lil buggers i tell ya. good luck!