there is only one bike shop near me i will see if the guy at that shop can set me up in a trainer and watch. it means having to explain the problem and talk out loud about it which is really really um hard for me to do.

the dissociative stuff also comes with somewhat sever ptsd and is related to abuse as a child. talking about my body here is hard for me. talking out loud with my really nice female doctor whow as a midwife will be really hard and i will probably stutter a lot. trying to talk to the guy at the bike shop. he seems very nice but he is a guy. i may stutter to much to make any sense. other bike shops are over an hour away. the nearest bike shop just has one guy who works there he is really nice and helpful though.