I'm not seeing anything in the proportions that you mentioned, anyway that are outside any so-called "normal curve." Unless they were talking about the middle of the bell curve for males.
You sound pretty much like my size, too. I don't have a heavy tourer (yet) either, but I had zero trouble fitting on any of several WSD road bikes.
I'm sorry you're not getting the bike you wanted
, but I'm really happy you decided to find out whether it was going to fit you before ordering one!
Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler