Dismissed in business conversations?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

How do you all handle situations like this? How do you (without being labeled a bee-otch) manage to participate in the good-ol-boys garbage?

Well, I never would have kept sitting with the wives while the men involved with the project I was going to be a part of were sitting aside discussing it.
You say they moved around so as to sit together to discuss the project. Well why didn't you move too in order to be part of it, instead of staying where you were? Were you waiting for them to invite you to join in? Did they each specifically invite each other to join in the discussion, or did they just say "Let's discuss it" and form a group to start talking? Perhaps they thought it was odd that you did not join them, maybe they felt you weren't that interested. I would have put myself in the action if I was interested in being in the project. My advice is to make things happen for yourself rather than wait for others to ask you to join in. Men are not the best at thinking of such things.

I know and interact with many men in our town's social settings. There are two men in particular who are friends I like, but unfortunately they both have the habit of interrupting me and talking over me when we are in a group having social discussion. They don't do this to other men who are talking, they listen attentively to them, it's only to me, the woman who is present. The other men don't do it to me- it's a normal give and take conversation with them.
With these two men friends I have learned to politely and firmly say- "Just a moment, I'd like to finish what I was saying before you start that story.". They usually look slightly startled as though they hadn't realized they had cut me off. That usually takes care of it...until they return to their old habits the next week or so, at which time I simply repeat. We have to not allow ourselves to be dismissed, even if the dismissing might be inadvertent, doesn't matter. In this world, we have to approve ourselves rather than waiting for others' approval.

[Biciclista]

I'm with Bleeker...

You have to assert yourself. I am like you, i hate all that stuff. But if you want to be part, you must TAKE part. You must get into the guy's face, don't let him keep his back to you, and GET their attention.

You do have some choices. Good luck.

[ginny]

yeah, you are all right. I honestly didn't quite realize what was going on when we switched seats... then it was too late... I know: excuses. Well, I figured it was good to get to know the wives too... until they started talking about potty training

As far as being seen as a technician. I thought the MS would overcome that, but alas, it has not. In terms of the current company; I am sure they realize I judge them on their not - quite - ethical decisions. They keep me around for political reasons, and I'm grateful at the moment. As far as the new company - it is ethical *phew*, and they actually respect me as an expert of I wouldn't be there.

I think getting to the three other partners well is a good idea (two of them and I are already friends - I think the third is irritated to have to split the pot another way). I also think that as I become more comfortable with them, they may see me more as someone with whom to discuss business.

As to staying out of lab gossip: I totally feel you! I have been accused of being a bad team player due to trying to stay out of the gossip and the drama. It's funny (and comforting) that we have all had similar experiences.