Cycling non-sexism-maybe I hang out with different guys?

[TxDoc]

Whenever I read this stuff, I wonder if I just hang out with different cycling guys. They aren't racers but they have done trips over thousands of kms. over mountains,etc. and across several provinces/states/countries. But certainly I don't feel belittled. The cycling guys I know are thoughtful but strong riders.

+1. I grew up with racers around - most of them male except for my sister and another girl - and never was treated in a way that made me feel unworthy or belittled. We were a big but quite tight group of people that liked to ride bikes and train together.
We all cracked jokes occasionally, we all had strong and weak days, and we all fell off the bike here and there - but there was never disrespect. Actually, I remember mutual help and camaraderie in many occasions, regardless of gender.

It depends on the shop and who's there when I go (even the snooty bike shop back home has its good employees), but I feel like I should know everything about my options and know exactly what I want to buy when walking in there.

Well, that would certainly help. I guess the more it looks like you are in a shop to 'browse' or to ask for advice - and the more likely is that you will get some kind of advice, including probably suggestion of pink cruisers you have no interest for. For what they know - and for the way they are trained on the job - maybe they think they are actually giving you good advice by suggesting a hybrid or a cruiser. I guess we, as customers, educate the shops on what we want, as much as the shops educate us on what we should buy, in a way...

I do not recall ever experiencing any sexist behavior in a bike shop - in car dealerships, well, that's another story. Most people I met in bicycle shops have been helpful and kind. It might also be a slightly different viewpoint: I build and repair my own bikes for the most part, and go see my mechanic when I get stuck with a problem that I don't know how to solve - and that we cannot solve brainstorming on the phone .
Most of the time, if I walk in the shop is either to say hello or to buy a part (most often).
In the first case - I'm just there to say hi so I hang out and help if they need - so people seem to be more grateful than anything else. It happened more than once that the employees were busy with customers and someone else walked in with a broken something, and they asked me to fix it so the customer would not wait too long...
But, being the impatient person I am, most of the time I walk into a shop I do so for a purpose. I need to buy something, and I'm usually in a hurry, and the only conversation happening is 'hello, how are you, I need a 10-cog rear derailleur pulley for campy record 10, please' Now, if someone would answer that with a suggestion of buying a something else of whatever color, I'd probably be concerned about their mental health and call 911.
With this I'm not saying that you have to become the handy home mechanic - but if you know at least the basics about what you ride and how it works, people may actually learn to cater to you with a different attitude.

In several occasions, when I was in a shop buying something, I noticed that men more frequently walk in for something that needs attention: broken chain, bent derailleur, flat tire, whatever - it's broken, needs to be fixed. On the other hand, some women walk in for weird complaints: they cannot touch the ground when on the seat (heard that one and saw the desperate look on the shop owner's face who also happened to be a woman), the chain stains their jeans (yes, I swear, I heard this last week and had to grab some bibs and hide myself in the dressing room to avoid laughing my head out), or their husband's bike hub (well the lady actually said wheel) makes a noise and they cannot hold a conversation (heard this one too), or what may seem to be a petty issue to most employees. I underline some women because it's just a few, of course and thanks God! But, those some for sure help fuel the annoying attitude of shop employees that many others will have to experience in return.

It's sort of like road traffic behavior: all of us riding a bicycle sometime have to pay the 'toll' for those cyclist who run red lights and stop signs and do not respect the rules. We get yelled at because yesterday someone else on some other bike ran the red light. We didn't, we stop - but in someone's eyes we are perceived as the same kind, we ride a bicycle too.
Human beings tend to generalize and to use stereotypes, so if three women walk in the shop with the attitude of 'it messes up my hair' or 'what is this round thing?', then soon many other women will be perceived that way unless they prove themselves otherwise. Unjust, for sure, but common.
How do you prove yourself otherwise? Do your homework if needed, and keep going in spite of any annoying behavior. Keep riding your bike, keep going to the shops and demanding correct and professional behavior. Sooner or later people will learn

But then, I have to agree with Shootingstar again:

But then, maybe I just unconsciously avoid other men who are arrogant, etc. I think I really do for cycling and in my personal life.

+1 x 2!
In general I have a very low tolerance threshold for aggressive behavior (and an even lower tolerance for aggressive women, actually) - so I am quite sure that I do not invite aggressive individuals of either sex to come my way, whether in a bike shop or elsewhere... And I am quite grateful that they don't

[Crankin]

Well, I have experienced both types of treatment; generally there are so many cyclists here that seeing a lone woman rider doesn't turn heads at all. There are tons of serious recreational riders AND racers of both genders who live in the area. I don't see any women on cruisers! Hybrids, yes, but men, too. The only place I see cruisers are beach areas.
I have experienced the "ignoring" in a bike shop when I go in with DH, but it was awhile ago. And then, I didn't have the knowledge I have now. Still, my mechanical knowledge is not that great, but I can go in and have a semi-intelligent conversation about components, etc. DH does all of the work, so I rarely go into a LBS.
I do care about how I look, but it would never stop me from riding or doing anything sweaty. I love getting sweaty and dirty. I cut my hair short to avoid most hassles there. My caring about how I look gets translated into wearing cool cycling jerseys, etc. If people are going to judge me because I wear make up or care about clothes, etc., it's no better than people judging me because I don't care about this stuff. I like the fact that I can be tough and look good.
The guys in my cycling group(s) are older people like me, who respect everyone. They are cool. There's a ton of strong women riders, too, of all types. I stay away from the other types. Besides, I can't keep up with them.