i think there is a break in period for your saddle. also, the more i ride, the more comfortable i get on the bike. my butt and lower back would kill me on the way back in from 30+ miles, now, not so much. with that being said, i have also tweaked my seat position a few times to get it just right, and when you move the seat, you have to play around with the handle bars a bit too. i still have the seat that came on my tarmac, and i am making due, i do want to invest in a women's specific saddle though. i've ridden in my boyfriends shorts and now have my own, i really can't tell a difference except that his seem to be a little baggier in the crotch area on me. i also like to use the chamois butter on my sits bones, inner thighs, and outer labia. (sorry if tmi.) hope that all helps. you just gotta try different things until you find what works.