My only advice on shoes is to go try some different ones on, and don't get too attached to the idea that you have to buy women's shoes - try everything you can that's compatible with your cleats

Then, you have time in the trainer to get used to clipping in/out, so I really wouldn't worry about it much. I went clipless several months ago and I've had one close call (in grass) but no actual falls... I figure if/when I do fall it's going to come long after I've really gotten used to riding clipless, because right now I still think about unclipping before stopping.