The heartache of divorcing your bike shop

[tc1]

Here is what helped me over the marriage breakup, we had been part of the same group and lifestyle. These things are so individual I wouldn't dream of saying this works for everyone. It is what worked for me.
1. Spend lots of time exercising that beautiful dog.
2. Throw yourself into your job for awhile, and accumulate as much money as you can. This is not a permanent way of life, cause it is not healthy longterm, but it is a good short term way to more independence. Don't stint on taking the dog out though.
3. Thank the fates or deity or whatever you believe in that he is being relatively kind and mature about all this. Make this your mantra "he is not a psycho stalker". This breakup could have ended much worse. If you have a bit of a morbid streak, read a couple Ann Rule books.
4. Don't see him. Not for coffee or anything else. If you must meet to discuss business, bring a friend. And if you see him by yourself anyway, bring contraception.

Be strong. You will feel better after awhile.

[Wahine]

(((((TJ)))))))

I have another tip. Go away to a cycling camp. Preferably one for women. Go ride someplace you haven't ridden with him before. Immerse yourself in other people who ride and don't remind you of the ex.

And, of course starting a new relationship at this point is not a good idea but it is a great way to meet people. It's how I met my current BF and a lot of my good new friends over the last year since my breakup.

Take care and keep riding.

[OakLeaf]

Wahine, that's a great idea.

If you can afford it, I highly recommend Women's Quest. Not all of their camps involve cycling, and the coaching is minimal, but the great thing is that they do a lot of emotional work in addition to the athletic parts of the day. It's a wonderfully supportive way to kick-start your moving forward.

[Running Mommy]

I hope you are doing well tkj! Please check in. Lastnight over a tasty dinner of tamales w/the running family I recounted your post. Running hubby said "tell her to get a different colored streamers. But she should keep them if she loves them. Maybe a different color. And she should have a new stem cap made w/ a saying that reminds her that she is strong." I was kinda shocked that he actually had input, and kind of impressed actually..

[Pedal Wench]

Not sure how it relates, but...

This weekend, I went down to visit my BF. We went for a long, long ride, ending up in a National Park. We found a new road to explore and realized it looked vaguely familiar - we both remembered that we had been on that road, on bikes, when we dated the first time around, 25 years ago. Who knew then that life would circle us back together, years later, on our bikes, together again.

Life goes on, and sometimes takes you right back to where you always belonged.

[channlluv]

I hope you are doing well tkj! Please check in. Lastnight over a tasty dinner of tamales w/the running family I recounted your post. Running hubby said "tell her to get a different colored streamers. But she should keep them if she loves them. Maybe a different color. And she should have a new stem cap made w/ a saying that reminds her that she is strong." I was kinda shocked that he actually had input, and kind of impressed actually..

Where do you get custom stem caps made? I love that idea.

I also love Wahine's idea of going off on a retreat.

And KenyonChris, your words were beautiful and profound. Thank you for sharing your story there.

And Tribogota, excellent suggestion. Swimming, I've found, is incredibly therapeutic for my spirit.

(((tj))) - no words, really, just hugs
Roxy

[AnnieBikes]

Try this for custom caps...you have to navigate a bit to find what you are looking for but they have lots of cool stuff. Click on one of the caps, then click "custom" or "purely custom" at the bottom and you can get your own saying.


http://www.purelycustom.com/c-31-road-bikes.aspx

[cylegoddess]

You know, I got into cycling thru my BF. I was in heartbreak over my relationship. I knew he was nice but I knew I needed to wait , so ...I got into cycling.
I used the bike to get over bad chronic illness.
This is what I learnt;
You may be lonely riding, but no one can take away what riding does for you. As it was said to me, its hard but YOU ARE ON YOUR BIKE!
Many elite riders, have rode better for hardships and such. No comfort but it may be nice, maybe if you go in some races ( easy if you haven't done any) - and do it for YOU.
You had good times together. That was good.Now, the times are for you again.
I have learnt , riding alone( often while incredibly ill and no one much cared) - that we are our own heroes but not everyone understands we don't need to suffer , to do this. So they hurt us, because they are afraid. Dont be. Just Be.
When you do meet that someone, who is like you - I promise you, it is so good. Even if you have to wait a long time. And it wont hurt. Even when its hard.

[channlluv]

Try this for custom caps...you have to navigate a bit to find what you are looking for but they have lots of cool stuff. Click on one of the caps, then click "custom" or "purely custom" at the bottom and you can get your own saying.


http://www.purelycustom.com/c-31-road-bikes.aspx

Thanks, Annie. I've just spent about fifteen minutes looking through all their stuff. Cool, indeed. Now to think of something to engrave on the headset cap.


Roxy