Thank you, Indy for saying what you did about a bad therapy experience. I feel like I don't want to say anything, because people might think I was "pushing" my new profession, or worse, that I am just an over zealous grad student. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned trauma work. It's tough and often makes the flashbacks worse before they get better, but it does work. Trauma can encompass a lot of situations, although most people think of PTSD as only associated with military trauma or witnessing some natural disaster.
And I think someone noted that biological children can cause this type of estrangement with parents and that even "happy" adoptions aren't always perfect. How true! My brother is adopted (as an infant) and although we definitely had the same child rearing, he is a troubled (though functional) adult. I didn't know the scope of his issues until quite recently, as we are eleven years apart and don't talk that often. Even though he was always told he was adopted and offered help to search for his birth parents (he refused, saying we were his "real" family), I think the trauma of abandonment is so real for adoptees, that even if they have no other issues such as FAS, unless the attachment stuff is worked through, it's never going to be easy.
Just my opinion, and a very humble one at that.