Barb, I am so sorry about your situation. Like Trek420 said, however, what happened with your children is not unique to adoptive parents/children. Even in my own family, there have been long periods of estrangement between my parents and two of their three biological children. I think you might be able to find some support out there if you broaden your search to biological parents who are dealing with troubled or estranged children.

As for therapy, I wonder if you might benefit from trying another therapist or type of therapy, especially if your past experience is limited to just one therapist. Not every therapist or counselor is a good fit, nor is every therapist good at what she/he does unfortunately. It can take some trial and error as a patient to find one that works for you. With the right guidance, however, I firmly believe that it's possible to make traumatic experiences more bearable and to move forward with your life.

My therapist practices EMDR, and while I don't necessarily fit the profile for PTSD, I have had a few sessions with her so that she could get certified (and I could work through some baggage). I found it to be incredibly helpful. If nothing else, it helped cement my understanding that "I" am distinct from the events that have transpired in my life and the emotions that they trigger, as integral to me as they sometimes feel. It's given me a bit more distance from the sadness in my life.

Good luck with whatever you choose. I sincerely hope you find peace.