I would advocate for counseling to deal with this, because in all reality, you most likely wouldn't find a support group, even in a larger city. It must be heartbreaking, and I am at a loss for words.
But, I *do* know someone whose adoption did not work out. I don't know her well, but she goes to my synagogue. She adopted 2 boys, about 2 years apart. I believe they were infants or toddlers when they were adopted. Just this past year, I found out that the younger boy had serious emotional/behavioral problems, to the point of threatening to kill the parents with knives. They turned him over to DSS and made him a ward of the state. I believe he was around 15. One of my good friends was a teacher assistant in the special needs class he was in during middle school.
I know that this doesn't exactly match up with your situation, but I know this woman's life has been living hell because of it.