Sad Thanksgiving Day

[solobiker]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have worked in the nursing home environment for over 15 years now and have seen this happen many times around a holiday or a birthday. You mentioned that "everyone went to see her, though she did not recognize any of them". I truely believe that on some level she knew her family was there. I don't want my comment to come across as cold hearted because it is not....often times when a person in a nursing home is close to passing away they are just "waiting" to see that one last family member or be around the family. I am not all knowing by any means, I have just seen this happen so many times. I guess what I am trying to say is I think she did know everyone was there and that she was comforted in that. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[nancielle]

So sorry for your loss. It was nice, and I hope comforting to you and your family, that you got to have one last holiday together.

[lunacycles]

My Mom has begun that decline with dementia and severe spinal stenosis, and we spent the holiday together, just the two of us. It is hard to imagine her being able to go out and do this in the future, as it was quite a project to drive us to a restaurant only a mile away... In some ways it is painful witnessing the rapid decline of a single parent, especially the isolation and confusion it can create-- obviously for her but also for her kids. In some ways it also seems to be a gift all around to be able to be there for her whenever possible. I am glad you were with your mom-in-law right before she died. I really believe that mattered.

[Aggie_Ama]

((Annie))

My Nanny died in August the day before her birthday. The day she slipped in a coma many of us came to the hospital. Her sisters came to visit, my Dad (only child), Mom, brother, myself and my husband. We talked to her, she was confused about her situation but enjoyed the company then told us to grab dinner because we looked hungry and she was tired. Two hours later the hospital called that she was declining so my Dad could rush back. I think she was just waiting to see us.

Sorry for the long story but I think your MIL was at peace because she had all her family, even if she didn't recognize. She appreciated your last act of kindness, I truly believe that.

[spindizzy]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have worked in the nursing home environment for over 15 years now and have seen this happen many times around a holiday or a birthday. You mentioned that "everyone went to see her, though she did not recognize any of them". I truely believe that on some level she knew her family was there. I don't want my comment to come across as cold hearted because it is not....often times when a person in a nursing home is close to passing away they are just "waiting" to see that one last family member or be around the family. I am not all knowing by any means, I have just seen this happen so many times. I guess what I am trying to say is I think she did know everyone was there and that she was comforted in that. My thoughts are with you and your family.

I don't think is it at all coldhearted. I have witnessed that as well. My aunt (only 5 years older than me) died the day after her husbands birthday. There is no doubt in my mind that this was her intention; that she should not die on her husband's birthday.

Nancielle - I am sorry for your family's loss.