Dear So and So

[cylegoddess]

Great Goddess,

Can you please send my Best friend lots of good things? His girlfriend just left him and he still is considerate enough to buy me a new 2X cycling top because it was on sale at 50 % off, and he knows I love them.
Im so glad he is my BF.

love
K

[Owlie]

Dear "friends"--
You were friends with both of us before we started dating. Generally speaking, it is polite to at least extend an invitation to both members of a couple, ESPECIALLY if both consider you a friend.

[cylegoddess]

Dear GP,
You suck.Sorry to be so blunt but your attitude is less than bedside.In fact every time I go to see you, only because I cant get to another doctor - you are patronizing arrogant and cold. Plus giving someone with a compromised immune system, and several other chronic aliments who has trouble even just getting thru some days, two days to recover from a a nasty sinus chest infection , is just negligent. I know you said, you cant give more than two days because the health people will be on you possible fraud- but I have had more days from EVERY other doctor I have ever gone to. I think you just want that extra 25 bucks when I have to come in two more times, just to get on my feet. Im never coming back even if I have to drag my poor tired suck body next time, on the half hour bus ride to the next one( who treated me a damn sight better.)When I told you that you should keep in mind that I have diagnosed with a compromised immune system, have Chronic fatigue and other things that may affect my recovery time - you said - you making this hard for me to treat!! No thanks lady.
UN -Sincerely,
Cycle goddess

[Owlie]

Dear body--
Get with the program already, will you? Do one thing or the other, and stop this hemming and hawing! While you're at it, will you stop craving chocolate? Toblerone is delicious, but it does not constitute dinner!

[Blueberry]

Dear Co-Worker:

Please stop bringing your kid's germs to work. This is the 2nd time in 6 weeks I've gotten sick 2 days after you showed up sick. At least I didn't get pink eye when you came to work with that - twice. You have sick time - use it. I'm a temp - I don't have sick time (and after an emergency hot water replacement, can't afford to not get paid), plus I have a huge deadline next Friday. Please???

[Biciclista]

Dear Mother of Weather
It's very nice of you to send your freezing cold winds down to temperate mild Seattle. It's been fun to see below freezing temperatures day after day this week. But it's not fair if we never actually get any snow out of the deal. What's up with that?

Sincerely
one very cold and dry
Mimi

[IFjane]

Mimi, I am sure there are some folks in Iowa and points beyond who would be very happy to send you some!